Thursday, July 31, 2008

Say hello to my leetle friend...

I'd like you to meet my new boyfriend.


He and I have been spending significant amounts of quality time together recently. I've spent much more time with him than I have my daughter or husband in the past few days, to tell the truth. Somehow, he's just been irresistible, so smooth and cool and quiet, willing to take anything I give him.

Yes, in other words, boy, have I had a baaaaad GI bug. Caught, as usual, from my kiddo, who loves to share her germies with mommy. She started a few nights ago with a bad headache - "Mommy, the water in the shower is TOO LOUD and it is HURTING MY HEAD" and a few hours after that, the barforama began. One more time to thank our lucky stars and the kiddo's hours of OT for the fact that she now knows she's going to vomit in time to get it into the barf bucket or the toilet, because the barfing? It happened every thirty minutes starting at 10 Monday night and continued, around the clock, for the next 36 hours. So, that's how I became acquainted with my boyfriend at first - the kiddo introduced us as I held her hair back during her time with him. Apparently, he's more of a cougar type than a jailbait type though, because within 24 hours of the kiddo's stomach upheaval, he was all mine. First, the headache, which I tried to blame merely on the lack of sleep the night before. When it got to the point that the kiddo's Hungry Hungry Hippo marbles seemed like jackhammers pounding directly into my skull, I knew it was a bit more than that. Only for me, my new boyfriend wanted everything. To put it somewhat more delicately, there were a few dicey moments when my addled brain had to quickly decide which end had priority dibs on the bowl. My boyfriend's siren call was strong; I didn't want to leave his side. It was just easier to curl up on the bathmat next to him and moan alluringly...

The good news is, 36 hours later I'm feeling fine. Well enough, in fact, to give my boyfriend the brush off. (Literally, and with a good amount of Clorox too.) So, virulent as this particular bug was, it didn't linger. It came, it kicked ass, it went. And, as Emily Blunt's character said in The Devil Wears Prada, "
I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." ..... Well, not exactly, but I did seem to lose some serious (water?) weight over the past 2 days. Doubtless it will be rejoining me in short order now that the bug has passed and my appetite has returned, but hey, I'll take any silver lining I can find out of the past 36 hours of horror!

2 comments:

ourboysourlives said...

WHO but you could put vomit patrol to such kind words...and is it against the law for the boyfriend to have the DD and then the loving mom?? He let you hold her hair too...hmmmmm

Crazy Sister said...

I feel awful for laughing at your misery, but you wrote it so well. Glad it didn't linger!

Hi from Australia.