Friday, December 12, 2008

I know where I want to be on February 22nd...

This just in: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced the host for the next Oscar ceremony, and now I'm dying to bump up my 40th birthday dream by a few years and be a seat-filler at the next Oscars!!!

*sigh* If only it were even remotely possible. There's an application to be completed and submitted with a resume and head shot (so I'd be out of luck from that point on, anyhow - I mean, I'm still shocked they took me for Jeopardy! after the horrendous Polaroid the lady snapped of me at the audition, and Jeopardy! contestants are rarely beauty queens...) and then after all that, I'd have to be chosen out of all the other folks who want to seat-fill - and apparently some are actually professional seat-fillers, where I'm a mere amateur. (Not that I am not quite adept at filling seats, mind you. I can occupy space in a seated position with the best of 'em!) Considering that (a) I live on the wrong coast and (b) I have zero connections in the film industry, I doubt that I'd have a snowball's chance in Hawaii of making this dream come true.

Maybe I'll dress up in my most Oscar-worthy outfit while I fill the seat on my couch for this year's broadcast. Oh, who am I kidding? If I am not going to the Oscars, I'm not wedging myself into any sort of supportive undergarments - I'm watching on my couch (long distance on the phone with my BFF from her living room) in my jammies with a big bowl of popcorn.

It would be so cool, though... I've got three years and two days to work on this particular Midlife Crisis Crazy Scheme. Hopefully Hugh does a fantabulous job hosting this year (he certainly rocked when he hosted the Tony Awards!) and they continue to ask him back, 'til I can score some sort of miracle and get myself to Hollywood!

A girl can dream...


Carrie said...


Now that may get even me to watch the Oscars!

I haven't watched them in a few years.

I abhor watching all the spoiled ultra-rich movie people spout their elitist nonsense about the world. Puh-leeze--you people are NOT political experts. You write/act/direct/produce movies!


Hot Tub Lizzy said...

The super-bowl will be held on my 40th birthday (in 2012)... i so want to go.

And Carrie's comment made me think of one of my favorite quotes from The West Wing:

C.J.: Sorry to ask you this, sir, but...

President Bartlet: Not too late to stop yourself.

C.J.: I need you to pardon a turkey.

President Bartlet: I already pardoned a turkey.

C.J.: I need you to pardon another one.

President Bartlet: Didn't I do it right?

C.J.: You did it great, but I need you to come out here and pardon another one.

President Bartlet: Aren't I going to get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?

C.J.: Sir, can you come out here and just get this over with?

President Bartlet: No, I'm not gonna just get this... What the hell's going on?

C.J.: They sent me two turkeys. The more photo-friendly of the two gets a Presidential pardon and a full life at a children's zoo. The runner-up gets eaten.

President Bartlet: If the Oscars were like that, I'd watch.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

OH! OH! OH! I so wanna do that too. Tell me where to get the app. I mean, the photo is only a head shot, right? What if I send in my head shot and I'm sitting in a wheelchair? Do you think they will give me a spot just for diversity sake? I mean, I don't actually ride in a wheelchair, but I could get one for the occasion?

I am totally kidding! Hope I didn't offend anyone!!

Vickie said...

How exciting...Hugh Jackman!!

I usually only watch bits and pieces. The last time I watch the whole Oscars was 1996, when they had Kirk Douglas, after his stroke and Christopher Reeves, after his horse accident on stage. I was bahling. I am such a sucker for those things.

Hot Tub Lizzy: I remember that West Wing episode and it was fuuuunnny! Oh, I miss that show:(

RMF said...

Hugh Jackman! He was so good hosting the Tonies--this will be great. And I didn't know he was the sexiest man alive. I mean, of course I KNEW, but I didn't know it was official.

Lorrie Veasey said...

I miss Billy Chrystal.

Ah, I'm getting old.

Jamie said...

Hugh Jackman! My friend Michelle will be soooooo excited! She loves him! I'll be recouperating at home from my birthday party on the 22nd of Feb.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Happy Birthday!!!! (I'm covering my bases since you just said this weekend) I'll be back tomorrow to say it again.

Hot Tub Lizzy: I loved that episode. I can remember that one because the turkey's names were Troy and Eric - which also happens to be the names of two of our dear friends, who are brothers.

I can't remember who got pardoned though.

I digress...

Jennifer said...

OMG--I LOVE HJ! Have you seen him in the London production of Oklahoma? If you haven't--please do yourelf a favor and rent it ASAP!!