Things which are Thingish

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out in the open and has other people looking at it.” - A.A. Milne

I have, as I've said before (though not in that great of detail), many things. You know, things - if you were kind, you might call them quirks or idiosyncrasies, if you were not so kind, you might call them aberrations or neuroses. It's all in the phrasing, I suppose...

Anyhow, my things are things that I generally don't discuss much in public, lest someone begin to back slowly away from me, reaching for their cell phone to dial up the nice, young men in their clean, white coats to come and take me away. At the very least, I'd be afraid that folks would point and laugh. (You know you laughed, I heard you laugh!) It's all well and good to have folks laugh with one, but not so much at one, after all. Especially as my things are a little less Pooh Bear and a little more Howard Hughesian in their levels of quirk/neurosis.

The other day, however, a dear, bloggy friend of mine posted about how she recently locked herself out of her house. Margaret (who, okay, might not necessarily think of me so much as a dear friend perhaps, rather she is someone who writes a blog that I adore and stalk, leaving endless rambly comments upon it, as well stalking her on Twitter and Facebook...fortunately, she has yet to call in a restraining order on me) responded to the endless, rambly comment I left on this post and suggested that perhaps I ought to blog about what I commented about. So, as she is a much better writer and more fantabulous blogger than I could ever hope to be, I decided to take her advice.

Here, now, are some of my things, aired for the first time in public, or at least on my blog.

The thing which I wrote about over at Nanny Goats was my thing about locking myself out of my house. As I said over there:

Oh, I have such a THING about the possibility of locking myself out of my house and/or car. I even have a wristband on my keys so I can feel them dangling from my arm and *know* I haven't walked out the door without them. (I also have a carabiner clip on my purse that I attach them to at times instead of dangling them like so much gigantic bling from my forearm.) I also am sure to have my cell phone with me at all times, just in case I manage to somehow still misplace my keys, thereby locking myself out of somewhere.

Like, take for example, 25 minutes ago, when I exited my home to walk my daughter up to the corner to catch the bus to kindergarten. I was wearing my jammies with a Mickey Mouse baseball cap jammed down upon my bedhead, with keyring-bracelet dangling from the wrist above the hand in which I clutched my cell phone.

Also? I left the front door not only unlocked but open, in case, you know, the cat managed to push it closed, grow some opposable thumbs and then lock the deadbolt in the 4 minutes I was outdoors.

Also also? I actually thought to myself as we headed up the sidewalk "well, if *that* happens, the window over the kitchen sink is open." You know, so that if (a) I dropped my keys and they were sucked into a magical black hole that suddenly opened up in the sidewalk before me and closed before I could dive in after them, (b) the cat managed to implement her Evil Feline Plan and shut and lock the front door and (c) my cell phone suddenly spontaneously combusted and/or died, I'd *still* be able to get back inside, albeit by clambering through the smallest window in my home via the deck in my backyard.

Yes, I have such a thing about locking myself out that I actively plan alternate entries into my home.

Other things of mine? The list is endless....... For example, I won't eat Oreos or any Oreo-containing product in public, since I have a thing about Oreo bits getting stuck in my teeth. (They invariably do, mind you - this isn't a totally irrational fear. I can basically *look* at an Oreo and WHAM, brownish-black bits magically wedge themselves between all my front teeth, top and bottom.)

Here's a good one: I have a habit of safety-pinning any zipper fly's zipper shut. Okay, not so much a habit as yes, a thing. Suffice it to say I've been out in public with an XYZ situation occurring one too many times. Fool me once, shame on you, see London, France or my underpants twice and shame on me. Therefore, if I am wearing any type of pants or shorts or skirts - any bottoms with a zipper fly - odds are good I've got 'em pinned shut at the top just for good measure.

Speaking of clothing, I also have a thing about tags sticking out of shirt collars. You know how that happens, right? I have a thing about it to the degree that I will cut the tag out of any garment I own where it might poke up above the collar, and I've been known to reach out and tuck the tag back in to the top of random strangers in the produce section of the grocery store or the row in front of me at the movie theater... Thank heavens more manufacturers are making the tagless shirts - saves me a lot of "What on EARTH are you doing touching the back of my neck, you strange woman?!" encounters.

Should I go on? I've lost a couple of followers in recent weeks, is this now going to drive the rest of the faithful few away? Or is this going to be a place where you can come for affirmation that "Wow, I'm nowhere NEAR as thingy as Heather. Whew, I must be normal!"? Maybe I'll stop now and throw the comments open to you to share your things which are Thingish and make me feel a little less wonky. Or, you know, just so you can point and laugh. Whichever you prefer...