Sure, it really is an honor just to be nominated, et cetera and so forth...

So, the ever-fantabulous Hartley, amazing author and tireless champion of parents with SPD/ASD/special needs kiddos, has a little awards shindig going on over at her blog.  Nominations have been going on for the past few days, and I just received the news that my blog has been nominated for an SPD Blogger Award!!  In the category for "Humorous Blog" no less! (I've checked out the competition and it is fierce, *gulp*!)

This is literally the first good thing to happen to me this year so far.  Yes, I know we're not even 3 weeks into 2011 but so far? It has bitten the big one.  We're in the midst of another major battle with the school district regarding Kiddo's current IEP and have further heard that it is 99.9999999999999% sure that Kiddo will not be granted an aide for next year (or ever again after this year) when her CSE meeting rolls around in March.  Kiddo has now been examined by a pediatric pulmonologist, who confirmed what her pediatrician has been suspecting for several months now - Kiddo has asthma, and with the relatively "late" onset of symptoms, it is likely that she will have asthma for the rest of her life (as opposed to kids who have it as toddlers and then outgrow it).  Have you ever seen a major sensory seeker on not one but two asthma meds simultaneously?  Holy bouncing off the walls, Batman!  We're working out an appropriate med regime that controls the inflammation with the least amount of disruption to her life, but the working out phase involves dealing with issues like difficulty falling asleep/restless sleep and other fun stuff like that.  (If you think a major sensory seeker hopped up on two stimulant asthma meds is a scary enough sight, add to that a lack of adequate rest and we have a new horror movie franchise in the making.)  On top of that, Kiddo has just been more challenging than usual behaviorally.  I won't go into details, but she was Majorly Grounded for almost a week, which effectively killed our wedding anniversary date night out plans (and on top of that, it's never fun to have to be the Grounding Enforcer/Prison Warden anyhow).  Last but not least, she's been sick for more days this January than not, so we're stuck inside with playdates and birthday parties falling by the wayside thanks to those evil, evil germies.  (Side note: someone told me that the odd years are always more challenging than the even years.  Six was pretty dang delightful around here, especially in light of how seven has been.  I'm willing to believe that at this point, especially if it gives us a light at the end of a tunnel that will only go another 5 months... Anyone else ever hear that one?)

So, like I said, 2011? Not the best year so far.  (Isn't this the big Mayan Apocalypse year?  Are all these issues actually harbingers of the impending doom - and if so, where the heck are Dean and Sam and Castiel when I need them?  Will I start dreaming of Phyllis Diller again?  Did I mention that coming up in December, I turn the big 4-0?  Isn't that bad enough for one year in and of itself?)  

But... then I received the news from Hartley that I've been nominated for an SPD Blogger Award - and it's a MAJOR AWARD, you know.  I'm hoping the prize looks something like this:

And yes, it's just an honor just to be nominated, especially since I didn't nominate myself - someone out there likes me!  But then again, if you really do like me, please drop by the voting page starting tomorrow at 6am and help me stuff the ballot box, mmmmkay?  I mean, George Clooney and Hugh Jackman have presented Oscars and Golden Globes before, so what if it's one of them presenting the SPD Blogger Awards?  Do you want to be the one to make me miss out on that?  Let's reverse the trend of craptastictude for 2011 by landing me a Major Award!

I promise I'll mention you in my acceptance speech - maybe even give you a shout-out from the red carpet when Ryan Seacrest stops me to find out who I'm wearing..... "Microfleece yoga pants from Target, Ryan, of course!  Mind the sparks, now..."

The itsy-bitsy freak out

The other day, I had just finished my morning ablutions and had stepped in front of the mirror to comb my hair when I suddenly felt the sensation of a spider crawling across my foot.  You know how you get that sensation sometimes?  Like a bug or something small crawling across your skin?  Well, I looked down, as you would in such a case, fully expecting to either see (a) nothing or (b) an abandoned hair - either from my own head or perhaps the cat - that had fallen onto my foot and was giving me that ticklish sensation.

Horrifyingly, what I saw was in fact option (c) - an actual spider running across my bare foot.  Well, running is too speedy a term.  What he was doing was more of a mosey or an amble as he certainly was feeling no urgency in crossing the terrain.  I promptly did what any human being in her right mind would do.  I freaked the heck out.  I began vigorously shaking my foot while hopping up and down on my other leg in an attempt to fling the spider off of me, all the while shrieking like an extra in a B horror movie.  The spider, far from being dissuaded in his attempt to stay on my skin, decided that rather than hopping off the crazy, damp, shrieking, jiggling, madly leaping about the (very small) master bathroom chick, he'd head due north right up my leg.  All my evasive actions succeeded in doing was getting him to pick up his pace from a mosey to a sprint.

Fortunately for me, I did not drop into a dead faint at the sight of this ferocious beast coming straight for my throat as fast as his eight hairy legs could carry him.  I somehow managed to keep presence of mind enough to grab a wad of toilet paper (while still screaming a bit and jumping around, I confess) and execute a combination swipe-squish maneuver that removed him both from my thigh and this world.

Now, I have a strict No Squishing policy when it comes to creepy-crawlies.  Not to say I'm one of those insane do-gooders who gently scoop any and all such home invaders into a cup and set them free back in the great outdoors, because if it isn't a ladybug, butterfly or cricket, that's pretty much not happening.  Nope, if I see a spider, beetle or any other EW EW ICK LOOK AT THAT HORRIBLE THING type creature inside my house, I'm all for killing it.  I just can't kill it in a way that will leave a smear or worse behind.  Just the thought of that makes me a little queasy.  This must be related to my innate dread and hatred for pumpkin guts, but I have never wanted to dwell on the topic long enough to work it out.

Anyhow, my preferred method of killing things that go BOO! in my bathroom is to render them immobile by whatever means are handy and then picking up the paralyzed and/or dead creepy-crawlie and disposing of it in either the garbage can or toilet.  (This is my preferred method for the rest of the house, too, actually.)  If I'm in the bathroom, hairspray usually is the weapon of choice, and if I'm not near a can of something or if I'm in a room with carpeting, I'll opt to Dustbuster the critter into the next world.  (Okay, my most preferred method is to call Hubby and get him to eradicate the creepy-crawlie, but Hubby is gone for pretty much the whole day so I have to have a back-up method handy for those times when it's just me and the bugs.)

The other morning, though, with Certain Death lunging ever closer to my jugular (he had FANGS, I'm telling you.  FANGS and an evil and bloodthirsty gleam in his beady eyes), I didn't have time to run into Kiddo's bathroom and retrieve my hairspray, so I had to squish the horrible creature with my bare hands.  Well, my bare hands and a wad of toilet paper about three inches thick.  Terror overrode my gag reflex as I crumpled the TP for all I was worth, suddenly finding Hulk-like strength in my hand, and then I promptly dropped the corpse in his Charmin shroud into the bowl and sent him to his watery grave.  And then I waited for the tank to refill and flushed again.  And again.  Just to be sure, you know.

*shudder*

Sorry Charlotte, but unless you can write out George Clooney's cell phone number in a web on my bathroom mirror, you and all your brethren are destined to meet the same fate should you dare enter this coward's domain.  So do me a favor and spread the word to all your creepy-crawlie pals, okay?

Monday Musings

I know there is a "thing" out there on the blogosphere to post Random Thoughts Tuesdays.  One of my favorite people to stalk bloggy friends, Cristin, does this pretty regularly and I always enjoy reading her posts.  Well, I always enjoy reading any of her posts, but you know what I mean.  (Or maybe you don't.  It is quite possible that I'm not making any sense whatsoever this morning as I am functioning on a caffeine hangover and less than 4 hours of sleep thanks to last night's Oscars telecast and my decision to majorly overcaffeinate in order to stay up late enough to watch every, last moment.  My brain is so foggy, it's San Francisco.  Or London.  Or that John Carpenter movie.  Or its remake.  Okay, okay, I'll stop.)

So, as this is Monday and not Tuesday, but the best I can do is throw out some random things that are clattering around quite loudly in my aching, befogged brain, this is my stab at a Random Thoughts Tuesday but I'm calling it Monday Musings instead.

***

The flowers that bloom in the spring, tra-la!  Look what four days of sunshine and a few-degrees-above-freezing temperatures have wrought in our front yard (along with a rapidly shrinking snowman):

 

 Crocipetti!!  (Or crocuses, for the non-Beat Cats in the audience)

  

 Daffodils!

 

Daffodils and also possibly a hyacinth!

I planted about 150 or so bulbs in front of the house and around our light post last fall.  I did a mixture of crocuses, daffodils and hyacinths because those were the three bulbs I was assured by many an online gardening site would be least tempting to the seventy squillion squirrels and chipmunks that call our silver maples and pine tree home.  I know that some of those furry critters still felt the need to sample what I'd planted because I came across several bulbs that had been dug up and had a little nibble taken out of them before being rejected and tossed aside.  I replanted those and hopefully they weren't too taste-tested to bloom.  I'm just glad *anything* is coming up.  I'm glad we've had sunshine.  I'm glad I can see something other than white, liberally splotched with yellow.  (Think I'm kidding?  I'm not...............)

That was taken the weekend before last.  There are no dog or cat footprints leading up to any of those spots, either.  Ewwwwwwwww.

***

With the recent thaw, it's a good thing we got outside the weekend before last and accomplished a few of Kiddo's Most Desired Winter Weekend Family Outdoor activities:

- building a snowman bigger than Kiddo...

- and building a snow fort from which to have a snowball fight.

Ed, the snowman - or rather, person of snow that we built, has suffered mightily with the sun that decided to come out and stay out in the days immediately following his creation.  We have had to pick up the various bits of his face and reattach them several times in the past week, most recently this morning as we were waiting for Kiddo's bus to make its way up the street.  Ed is now a little person of snow with basically just his bottom snowball still vertical and present.

 

If I'd realized that constructing things out of snow in the yard was all it would take to bring on the spring thaw and sunshine, I'd have been outside at 12:01am on January 1st!  Let's hope it lasts............

***

So, the Oscars were on last night, which reaffirmed my deep and everlasting desire to one day be a seat filler for the Academy Awards.  At least twice during last night's telecast, I saw a seat filler sitting right next to George Clooney.  Can you imagine?!  Of course, I'll need to get a whole lot more attractive before they'd plunk me next to any celebrity, much less one in the front row.  With my luck, I'd get to seat fill next to the guy who was sitting behind Quentin Tarantino last night... (not that I have anything against Gandalf, of course...)

I've said I really want to do this for my 40th birthday, so I still have another year plus to figure out the wheres, hows, and if it's really possibles since Seat Filling at the Oscars is totally the number one item on my bucket list!

***

Words Kiddo asked me to define for her over the past three days:

murder

distended

slipshod

Each time, the question came out of the blue, and each time, I asked her where she'd heard/read it.  Murder came from a book she had to read about Abraham Lincoln for homework, distended from the movie Bolt and slipshod from a Kim Possible book she was reading.  It's like living with a pop vocabulary quiz around here all of a sudden.

***

Are you watching Modern Family?  It is, hands down, my favorite new show of the season.  I like that not only is it side-splittingly, spit-takingly funny, but that the characters actually seem to be fond of each other.  Yes, there is snark, but it isn't mean-spirited the way it tends to be on sitcoms of recent memory (well, even further back than recent memory - all the way back to Roseanne).  Every character gets great lines and great scenes, from Ed O'Neill's Jay on down to baby Lily, who had her first lines last week.  Modern Family is the reason why our family's band name for Rock Band/Guitar Hero is Why the Face...

Speaking of television, I'm just not as into American Idol this year as I've been in years past.  I haven't even re-upped for the annual AI pool in which I've eagerly and intently participated for years.  I don't know if Adam ruined it for me with his utter perfection last year or what, but despite being a huge Ellen DeGeneres fan (and enjoying her participation in the show this year a lot too), I'm just not that into it.  Anyone else with me?  I don't know if it is that none of the performers have grabbed me (yet?) the way that Adam did last year, that the song choices have felt tired and the performances for the most part ho-hum, or that the judges other than Ellen seem to be trotting out a lot of the same, exact comments that they have made in previous seasons or what, but I'm not feeling it.  Out of the current group of contestants, I'd have to say my favorite is Crystal Bowersox, and I am hoping I get more sucked in as we get closer to the top 12, but right now, it isn't Much Watch Live TV, but more Watch it off the DVR at Some Point TV instead.

Also speaking of TV, how about that final season of Lost?!  Whoa nelly!  Now *that* is Must Watch Live TV, along with Modern Family and The Amazing Race (though I really do still miss the Globetrotters from last season).  I'd watch Project Runway live too, if it weren't on so late.  That falls into the Must Watch off the DVR Because it is on Way Past My Bedtime category.  (Speaking of Project Runway, did you hear that Meryl Streep's Oscar outfit last night was designed by PR alum Chris March? WOOHOO!)

What TV shows are on your Must List this season?

***

Conversation with Kiddo the other day:

Kiddo:  Mommy, I think it would be fun if you played Littlest Pet Shop with me.

Me:  You know what would be even more fun than that?

Kiddo:  What?

Me:  Doing your homework!

Kiddo:  Ha. Ha. Ha. 

*pause*

Kiddo:  That?  Was me laughing sarcastically.

(Yes, she has a ways to go yet before she realizes that sarcasm is diluted quite a bit by pointing it out immediately after using it...)

***

If you're looking for a good book to read, in terms of being laugh-out-loud funny as well as extremely well written, I recommend picking up a copy of Notes from the Underwire by Quinn Cummings.  I've been reading her equally well written blog, The QC Report, for a while, and after languishing on the library's hold list for what felt like an eternity, I finally got my hands on a copy of the book last Friday.  Now that I read and enjoyed the book, I'm sad that I got it from the library because that means I have to return it.  This might be one of the rare times when I go out and buy a book after I've read it courtesy of the public library, because there are so many bits that I'd like to be able to reread whenever I want to, without languishing on the hold list all over again.

For example..............

What I want to be is a strong, resolute figure leading my daughter through the primeval forest of childhood, hacking out a clear, bright path of expectations for her.  What I usually end up being is a person swatting at bugs, squinting at the sun and saying nervously, "Wait.  I know I have the map here somewhere."

There also was an entire chapter about organizing summertime activities for kids (as in camps) that struck a huge chord as I'm presently squinting through the reemerging sun and noticing the long, long stretch of no school that is suddenly looming much closer on the horizon.  She had me rolling in that "It's funny because it's true" sort of way through this whole chapter.  It also had me checking the town's recreation department website for the opening of registration for the "summer fun" program and sending an email out to all the other parents in Kiddo's class and our Daisy troop to find out whether any of her friends are going to be attending Summer Fun and if so, when.  Kiddo loved Summer Fun last year, when she didn't know a soul in town and it didn't matter therefore which weeks she went.  This year, there are more field trips as she's now a going-into-second-grader which puts her into an older group (2-4 instead of K-1) and she knows lots of kids, obviously, now that she's in school here, so the timing of Summer Fun scheduling is more complex.  The cost has gone up a bit as well, but it still is the most reasonably priced summer day camp type program around, for which I'm grateful that Kiddo enjoys it so much!

Whoops, I'm digressing again.  I think that's a sign I need to walk away from the computer and tend to either the grocery shopping or the sink full of dishes from last night and this morning.  I'd much prefer curling up in a sunny spot on the floor like our cat and taking a nap, but I've squandered any potential nap time by blogging instead.  Think I might ingest some hair of the dog before I attempt anything else... 

***

Last but not least, it's almost March Madness time again, so allow me to display a bit of Hubby's and my school spirit and end with a hearty

LET'S GO, ORANGE!!!

Convalescence: a Big, Fat, Hairy Deal

So, our first full day of movement-restricted, post-surgical convalescence is now 14 minutes from over. Okay, technically it ended for Kiddo about 4 hours ago, but still. She is doing remarkably well overall, I think, given that just yesterday she was under general anesthesia and having surgery and all.

She did *not* sleep in and in fact was up by 6:10 when Hubby was heading out the door for work. I had been pulling for a "sleep in until at least 9 or 10" kind of morning, mostly because I was tired enough to sleep in until at least 9 or 10 myself, but no such luck. Flipping on the TV in my room and trying to roll over and go back to sleep while she watched Disney channel didn't buy me many more Zs either. Nope, Kiddo was all about getting herself set up on the couch in the family room so she could watch DVDs. (With the movement restrictions mandated by her doctor, Kiddo's usual strict limitations on "screen time" have temporarily been lifted and she is watching as much TV as she wants, so long as she's doing so while chilling out quietly on the couch.) Well, she mostly wanted to watch one DVD in particular.

This one:



I had picked this up almost as an afterthought when I was frantically scanning the shelves at Blockbuster looking for movies that (a) Kiddo hasn't seen, (b) were longer than 22 minutes, (c) were not objectionable in any way according to my admittedly puritanical judgment scale. I saw Garfield grinning up at me from a box on the lower shelf and grabbed it because Kiddo has developed quite a love for Garfield in comic book form ever since she discovered a few of my Garfield cartoon collection books sometime last year. She thoroughly enjoyed the Garfield Christmas special when I DVRed it in December, so I figured she might get a kick out of the DVD and added it to my pile.

She has now watched this DVD enough in the past 24 hours to have the dialogue, scene order and likely the closing credits memorized. And yet, she wants to watch it again. And again. And again.

Now, I've been a Garfield fan myself since I was a kid. (Side note: Garfield debuted back in 1978.) I mean, those are *my* Garfield books that Kiddo has appropriated, after all. I have watched pieces of the DVD (hard to avoid it when it's playing nonstop on our largest TV) and will confess to chuckling aloud a few times. But, still. This is not the height of comedy, folks. It's a talking cat. How many times can one human being watch the same talking cat cartoon over and over before one goes a little bit nuts? Four is the number, if you're asking about one's mother.

When the repeated viewings of Garfield and Co had hit the upper limits of my sanity threshold, I suggested a different means of entertainment, namely, playing princesses with me on the family room floor. Kiddo got a castle and all the Disney princess figurines to go with it for her birthday two years ago, except for Snow White. Well, as a "hey, I feel lousy that you have to go through all this" kind of a post-surgery present, I picked up the Snow White (who, by the by, is much more Snow Tan than Snow White) that matched the rest of the set and Kiddo was over the moon with Snow's arrival (even better that she came accompanied by bonus Dopey and Grumpy figures) when I showed her the set the night before her surgery. So, Kiddo was content to play princesses, with one teeny-tiny problem:



Those are Snow White's shoes, as held by Kiddo's not-abnormally-large, 6 year old hand. They're raisin sized and skinny and a total PITA to put on to the princesses' feet. Moreover, they're impossible to put on if you are experiencing double vision from recent eye surgery. That meant it fell to me, Man Hands Mommy, to repeatedly jam teeny-tiny princess piggies into teeny-tiny high heels. I don't even jam my own piggies into great, big heels, for Pete's sake. Haven't these girls heard of Birkenstocks? Perhaps a nice, sensible clog? After the assorted princesses had made like Cinderella one too many times and lost yet another shoe, I convinced Kiddo to let them just go barefoot since they were in the family room which has lovely, new carpeting after all.

Garfield and ridiculously minuscule footwear aside, Kiddo had some ups and downs today. Downs include the persisting double vision, eye pain and headaches (though, true to her general good spirited nature, she was joking on the phone to my mother about how she could see "all four of her feet" and how she was so happy to have "two cats" instead of one.) The two biggest downs include the having to stay still, calm and quiet (which, seriously, could someone please order me to lounge on the couch in my jammies, tucked under a fleece blanket with total dominion over the TV and someone to fetch me snacks and ginger ale? Please?) which is especially hard for my SPD kid, and the eyedrops. The steroid/antibiotic eyedrops that must be administered by me four times a day in each eye.

You wouldn't think that something as small as this:



could produce so much misery. Misery on both our parts, mind you. Kiddo gets her full-fledged freakout going on as soon as my hand approaches the airspace above her head with the bottle poised for action. Misery on my part because DANG, that bottle is small. (I photographed it with an ordinary sized pen and paper clip for reference. Note that is my tres cool, official Nanny Goats in Panties pen, courtesy of the ever-fantabulous Margaret.) The bottle is so small that it is virtually impossible to carefully squeeze out one drop into the squirming, blinking, bloody eyeball of the squirming, blinking, screaming bloody murder kid. I certainly don't want to miss, either, because those eyedrops are apparently made out of fairy wings, pixie dust and hens' eyeteeth. Or possibly gold, diamonds and George Clooney's cell phone number. Whatever they're made of, they're danged expensive and I'm not willing to waste them by spritzing them willy-nilly into the general direction of Kiddo's head in the hopes that a veritable rain shower of medicine might inadvertently make its way into her eyes in something akin to the proper dosage.

So, yeah, that? Not the fun part. Even less fun is how her tears are blood right now. Okay, fine, technically they're just bloody, not actual straight blood, but the effect is still quite disconcerting despite all the advance warning from helpful surgical staff. Also staining - Kiddo's pillowcase has some icky spots on it now, as does the shirt I was wearing yesterday.

Now then, let's talk about the ups. Kiddo has had several phone calls and emails from folks wanting to check up on her, and has felt well enough to take some of the calls in person. Kiddo loves to talk on the phone anytime for any reason, so having calls *specifically for her* is a huge thrill. She also spoke with her surgeon last night when he called to follow up on her. I don't think he speaks to many of his actual patients when he makes such calls, being a pediatric eye doctor and all, but Kiddo heard me say hello to him and requested a word. She gave him several, specifically "You know, I did NOT like what you did to my eyes, because now they're bloody and they hurt and I do not EVER want you to do that to them EVER again." Heh.

Kiddo also has had some visitors. Her in-town grandma came over yesterday and today her aide from school came over, bringing a lovely, large card that Kiddo's classmates made her. Kiddo also had a visit from one of her Daisy troop friends who lives a few blocks from us and with whom Kiddo plays during recess just about every day. She walked over with her mom and younger sister, and they came bearing get-well gifts to boot. (Who doesn't love presents? My kid sure does!) They baked us some delicious apple bread (which Kiddo and I both enjoyed during her dinner), lent Kiddo some books with tapes so she can listen while she's reading (though she was getting frustrated with the difficulty her vision was giving her with reading earlier today) and brought us the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. I had far greater appreciation for the flowers than Kiddo did, but I guess that's to be expected when one of us is six and more into endless viewings of Garfield and Odie and the other of us is closing in on 38 and has had more experience in the realm of bouquets. One can never have too many flowers, I don't think... at least I never have!

I'll leave you with a shot of the patient, listening to Howard Jones on her iPod (yes, along with appropriating my comic books from the 80s, she's also appropriated my 80s music) as she ate her orzo in chicken broth and a slice of apple bread for dinner, sitting at the table with the flowers:



Here's a close up of the flowers, because they're beautiful enough to warrant their own close up. Despite being meant for Kiddo, they really brightened up my afternoon!



At least they'll be something to look forward to when Kiddo invariably wakes up too, too early again tomorrow and wants me to get up, too... or maybe I could just put the Garfield DVD in now and let it run so that it's playing when she gets up...

The times, they are a-changin'

A little over five years ago, my first nephew was born. Living six hours away from my siblings as we do, it was one of those "wait for the phone to ring in the middle of the night" kind of scenarios to hear the news that the baby was born and was a he.

A few hours ago, my latest nephew was born. This time around, instead of waiting for the phone call, I followed the progress of his birth from "they've gone to the hospital" through the "11pm and nothing yet" to "almost time to push" to "HE'S HERE!" via text message and my brother's Facebook account. My brother posted the first baby pictures (long gone are the days of waiting for a family member to upload the pictures and email them to the far-away relatives like us) on Facebook via his cell phone from the hospital, so we've been able to oooh and aaah over the baby already. At 9 pounds, 7 ounces (and with a head circumference of 15 inches!), he is over twice the size Kiddo was when she was born.

The times, they are a-changin' indeed.

Other signs that the times, they are a-changin'? Well, I've gone from dreaming of the likes of Hugh and George



to lusting over the likes of these fellows:



Yep, Norm, Tom and Ty are my new dream men. Of course, I only want them to come over to our new house and help with the renovation, mind you... Actually, I'm not picky. Any of the experts from the DIY channel or HGTV are welcome to turn up with their fancy tools and endless resources to help get the house redone!

Speaking of renovations and new houses, our closing is looming! (We should be hearing about our closing date sometime in the next two days..) So, another 8-10 days and we're out of here and into the House of Wallpaper and Wood Paneling. Hubby, being the ever efficient and extremely organized sort that he is, has worked out a schedule for the projects we have planned for the new house. They include:

- ripping out the remaining carpeting in the living room, dining room, office, staircases and hallway

- stripping all the wallpaper throughout the house

- painting all the walls and ceilings

- painting the wood paneling in the family room

- carpeting the lower level of the house (family room, office and hallway)

- gutting the kitchen and redoing it all, including removing the wall between the kitchen and dining room, tiling the floor and installing new cabinets and counters

- repainting the exterior doors and shutters

- redoing all three bathrooms (tiling floors, installing new fixtures and replacing the sinks with vanities)

- replacing the wrought-iron banisters/railings with wooden ones

- running cable/electric/phone lines everywhere, including what is necessary to install ceiling fans/lights overhead in the bedrooms

Are you tired yet? 'Cause I'm exhausted just thinking about it, personally. Thankfully, Hubby has thought everything through very thoroughly, so we have a detailed game plan and we have prioritized everything. First up will be the carpet removal, the lower level painting and carpeting, and Kiddo's bedroom. Next will be the kitchen. After that, we'll tackle the rest of the projects as time and budget permits. The carpeting in the lower level will be done by professionals. The rest? Hubby and me (now you see why I'm a little swoony over Norm and Tom and Ty). We haven't actually done any renovation projects of this magnitude before, so this is going to be interesting, to say the least.

None of the above takes into account that we've discovered we can't afford movers (which cost less than half what we were quoted this time around the last time we moved, nine years ago - again, the times, they are a-changin') so we're going for Plan B, which is a U-Haul and a few college boys who are willing to work for cash and pizza. This means the actual move itself is going to require a lot more from Hubby and me than we'd initially thought.

When all is said and done, not just the times will be a-changin' but our address and the entire interior of the new house, too!

(And who am I kidding? Just the other night, I dreamed that we moved into our new house and our next door neighbors were Hugh Jackman and his family. They weren't celebrities, mind you, just the family that happened to live next door. They invited us over for a BBQ and were all excited that Kiddo was adopted, since their kids are adopted as well...)

Happy Blogiversary to me!

Well, I'm sooooo close to my 300th blog post (!), which I'd thought I'd easily manage to time to fall on this, the one year anniversary of my blog. Then, Kiddo came down with what appears to be one nasty case of viral pneumonia (we've been to the doctor and had a chest x-ray, but beyond an albuterol inhaler - Kiddo's first - there isn't a heckuva lot that can be done for her since it is just the World's Most Persistent and Annoying Virus and therefore cannot be treated with a nice, strong antibiotic to knock it out of her system quickly), and my week just got away from me. Dagnabit.

So, post number 299 is going to have to suffice as the official Blogiversary post, but I'm going to postpone any serious partying until after all members of my household are healthy again. Stay tuned for that, and also for the upcoming debut of Carma's personal video. I've got the lyrics done, and just need to get my singing voice back enough to record the video. It's gonna be good, I think! *eyebrow wiggle* In the meantime, do me a favor and pop by Carma's blog and give her some comment loving, to help make up for the fact that this video is taking forever to get done. (And hint, hint - my Belated, Big Blogiversary Bash will very likely include another video giveaway...)

Now, as my blogiversary proper is today, I feel like I should do something to mark the day. I've decided that to celebrate the occasion, I will feature my first-ever guest blogger! Since she's home with me, that guest blogger is none other than my very own Kiddo. (Hey, the choices were either her, Crazy Cat or the Evil, Fat, Carny Fish. Trust me, you want neither fish pee water splashed upon you with a flourish, which is the best Swimmy could manage, nor a hairball gacked upon you, which is Crazy Cat's forte. I'd gladly have had George Clooney or Eddie Izzard or Hugh Jackman or perhaps Alan Rickman reciting an ode in my honor, but sadly, none of them returned my phone calls or emails or tweets. Humph.)

Here, therefore, is an interview about me (I mean, after all, this is my blog) as answered by Kiddo. I got the questions from an interview that's been floating around the blogosphere and Facebook as well. (On a side note, has anyone noticed the sudden explosion of memes and the like over on Facebook? It seems to be happening a lot more over there now, and I don't think it's just that I'm noticing it more with the really irritating new layout they've got going on...) Okay, here goes, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Kiddo!

1. What is something your mom always says to you?

“You are my Bug of Love.”

2. What makes your mom happy?

When I scratch her back. When Daddy comes home for family dinner. When I listen to Mommy and Daddy and to my teachers at school and have good days.

3. What makes your mom sad?

When I whine and when I have temper tantrums and I kick her.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Playing jokes on me, like hiding and surprising me. Also, when she tickles me. When we are having Opera Day and she sings in a silly voice.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

Mommy was the same as me. She was a funny kid, and a silly kid and a smart kid.

6. How old is your mom?

37. (Ed note: At least she got my age right and didn't say 73, like she did at church on my birthday.... And yes, I am a little bit afraid to do that "What's Your Real Age?" quiz over on Facebook, as I'm a little nervous it will tell me I am, in fact, 73 and not 37.)

7. How tall is your mom?

12 inches tall. No, wait, she is 130 inches tall, and Daddy is 131 inches tall because he is taller than Mommy.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

Help me and play with me.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

Mommy feeds the cat and the fish, cleans my room and gets treats for me.

10. What is your Mom very good at?

Mommy is very good at Mario Kart Wii and catching me.

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Making omelets, Mommy burns them.

13. What does your mom do for her job?

Taking care of me. And Daddy. And the cat and the fish.

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Raspberries, ice cream and Cheez Doodles but NOT pepperoni!

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

When Mommy wins at Mario Kart Wii.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Belle, because Mommy looks like her and because Belle likes to read books all the time and so does Mommy. Also, Alicia from Diego because Mommy loves animals and would rescue them.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

Play together and sing songs and have Opera Day.

18. How are you and your mom the same?

We have the same eyes and we wear glasses and have brown hair. We are both silly. Our whole family is silly! And we both like to sing.

19. How are you and your mom different?

Mommy has black glasses and I have pink glasses. Mommy is a grown up so she is the boss, and I’m just the kid. When I’m a grown up, I’ll be the boss but I’ll be nice to everybody.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

Mommy gives me hugs and kisses and takes care of me and calls me Bugaboo.

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

Disney World or New Jersey!

Well, what can I say? Kiddo has been sheltered from my love of all things George Clooney, also Las Vegas and Hawaii. So, I couldn't really expect her to say "George Clooney's Italian villa" or "Vegas, baby!" or "Hawaii - or alternatively, some lovely Caribbean isle..." And it is sadly quite true that I have zero skill at making a decent omelet. I cannot flip/fold an omelet without making a horrific mess and it does usually wind up burning. I am hopeless at omelet cooking. I can fry a mean egg though - sunny side up or down - and I make killer scrambled eggs.... well, nobody's perfect, right?

So, there you have it. My first ever guest blogger for my first ever Blogiversary. It is hard to believe that it has been a whole year since I first dipped my toe into the blogosphere, with nary a follower or a comment or blogging community. Now, I can't imagine my life without my blog and the blogosphere as a whole! I am so glad that my little blogging thing has led me to discover so many wonderful folks out there around the world, and I plan to celebrate that as part of my Belated, Big Blogiversary Bash. (Like I said, stay tuned!!) In the meantime, germ-free, great, big, giant, squeezy (((hugs))) to you all!

Oh yeah, right, the Spring Fling giveaway results.....

Oooookay, the video giveaway winner was supposed to be announced this morning, which I totally would've done if we hadn't had our first showing set for today, which meant that instead of hanging out on the computer, figuring out who had how many entries and then determining a winner, I spent the morning racing around like a crazy chick and making sure everything was all spiffy and sparkly and shiny and spotless.

Then, this afternoon I had to chauffeur Kiddo to a birthday party and then we had to hightail it out of here for the showing, and then after the showing was over, we had just enough time to get home and get Kiddo bathed and fed when her grandparents came over and Hubby and I went out. As in to socialize with other adults, no kids, for an evening. Seriously, I cannot remember the last time this happened, so I was pretty much running around like a crazy chick to get ready and go out and not giving my blog a second thought.

And now? Now I'm back and it is past my bedtime (I came home first - yes, I am *that* socially pathetic that I took a separate car because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay up/out as late as Hubby) and I can barely type straight.

So, that's my great, big pile of Clofu - erm, I mean excuses - for why I didn't pick a winner yet.

I promise I'll get to it by tomorrow night. If I'd made it easier, I could've done it tonight but folks actually followed me so that gets an extra entry and after playing poker all night, my brain cannot do any more complex math (what? I'm the big blind? and the blinds just went up? How many red chips does that mean I need to throw in? Is an ace high or low? ) (Okay, seriously I'm not that bad, I do actually know my way around a poker table, I'm just trying to gain sympathy for my lameness at breaking the rules I set for announcing the winner.) (Maybe it would be better if I just threw myself on the mercy of all the other parents out there - we had the chance for a NIGHT OUT, with OTHER ADULTS, with FREE BABYSITTING, even. I mean, come on, that's enough to make anyone's head spin, right?)

So, by tomorrow night, the winner will be figured out with the lovely assistance of either Kiddo or Random.org - whichever one will cooperate better at the time. I can't promise an announcement any earlier tomorrow because we've got another showing at 11:30 so we're going to have to make ourselves scarce again.

And there you have it. Hope everyone's having a great weekend and stay tuned for the big announcement (I mean, you're all on the very edgiest edges of your seats, holding your breath right now, right?) tomorrow night!

Um, I love George and all, but I think *this* is even too much for me...

Check this out. I don't even think I would want to eat that. Well, maybe if it meant we'd get a buyer for our house..........

Speaking of house news, Kiddo and I are off to meet Hubby and look at our #1 house choice again (saw it this morning) and then discuss offers with our agent, AND we have the first showing of our house set for this Saturday afternoon. Things are moving along, hopefully quickly, smoothly and positively!!!!

SITS Spring Fling.... Better Late than Never (hey, it's a giveaway)

In the "better late than never" category, I present my post for the SITS Spring Fling. Anyone who happens by my blog on a regular basis knows that I am a huge SITS supporter. SITS is just a fantabulous website. If you don't know about SITS and you are a blogger, go check them out. (Doesn't matter if you're a chick or a dude - there are BITS to go with the SITStas. Holla, Preston!)

Now, every so often, SITS has a blogathon type thing. First, there was Blogathon. Then, SITSmas. Now, it is Spring Fling and it is even better than ever - every single post linked up to the Spring Fling is having some sort of giveaway! They're well over 300 now, and hey, that's a LOT of prizes. SITS is giving away a prize an hour as well, by the way. (Told you they're fantabulous!) More enterprising SITStas and BITS have no doubt been glued to their computers all day, entering the hundreds of giveaways and going fuzzy eyed with delight.

Me? I'm a bit ashamed to admit it, but I've been a slacker SITSta of late. Between Project Get the House On the Market '09 (which, as you may or may not be aware, it is as of yesterday. Hallelujah!) which has now morphed into Project Find a New House that Doesn't Totally Suck and also Project Keep the House Showing-Ready 24-7 and then toss a little Daylight Saving Time Adjustment Issues (which, when multiplied by a factor of Kid with SPD and Mom with PMS and egads, it gets extra-extra ugly!) and well, I just haven't had much time to surf the blogosphere, leave commenty love or anything else. Even my Wordscraper games list is under 10 active games over on Facebook (it usually is a much more robust tally somewhere in the 30s). It's bad, folks, this whole "real life interfering with computer time" thing I've been living. *shudder*

Anyhow, I finally decided about 10 minutes ago that I can't just skip Spring Fling, as had been my original plan once I realized that I had nothing to give away nor the time to hang on the computer checking everyone else out. Again, hanging my head in shame. Everything I could pass along for a prize is most likely here:



along with my long-gone wits and marbles. I was thinking I could bake something for a prize (I am world-famous for my chocolate chip cookies, especially) but most of my baking things, like my beloved, cobalt blue KitchenAid, are also all here:



Dang, I miss my stuff. *sniff*

So, finally it hit me. Something I could give away.... You see, back when SITS had their original Blogathon, the grand prize was an autographed picture of George Clooney. I tried like heck to win it. I failed.

NikkiCrumpet, mom of two of the most adorable dogs on the planet (and some dang adorable kids as well) won my picture of George. You might remember hearing some chest pounding and wails of grief coming from the general vicinity of upstate New York that day....

But then.... a little while later, Nikki, in her infinite wisdom, decided to rehome George. She had a contest to figure out who was most deserving of the autographed picture. And of course, I entered. I didn't just enter, I wrote a song. I wrote a song and posted the lyrics in her comments section for the contest and sorta kinda promised that I would make a video of myself singing the song should I be the winner. I even kinda sorta mentioned that I'd wear a tiara to do the video.

Well, I won. (And there was much rejoicing.)

Thinking back on that glorious event - me finally winning the autographed picture of George Clooney - made me figure out what I could give away now.

Heck to the NO, I'm not giving away George! Even if I wanted to, he's here:



along with my wits, marbles, KitchenAid and everything else, including my other prized autographed possession, my ginormous Harry Connick Jr poster that I had framed after he autographed it for me the year I was a total HCJr groupie and went to a ton of his shows. That poster has been gathering dust in the basement and Hubby tells me the frame is cracked, but I still made him put it in storage instead of tossing it. Hopefully the new house will have a room with a wall on which I can hang my autographed men.

But I digress. As I do.

You are not going to get the George or Harry autographed pictures. Uh-uh. Nope. But what you, the lucky winner of my giveaway, WILL get is......................... a customized song and video of said song performed by me about you and your blog.

Ta da!

If you want a preview of what such an exclusive video could be like, I shall refer you to this, the video of me making an utter fool of myself, wearing a tiara and singing my ode to George Clooney (set to the tune of The Rainbow Connection):

Oh heck, it's gone, gone, gone again....... Drat those limited editions!

What do you have to do to enter? Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Leave me a comment for one entry. For a second entry, either grab my button (over yonder in the sidebar) or follow me on Twitter and let me know in the comments, 'cause like I said, I am witless and have lost my marbles, so I need reminding. Deadline for this one-of-a-kind contest will be Friday the 13th at midnight, with a winner announced Saturday morning.

Happy Flinging!

Hand me my trophy, please...

I am so ready for my trophy today. Mmm-hmm. Hand it over, will ya?

Why today, you ask? By which, of course, you mean today specifically, more than any other day, since I *always* deserve such accolades? I'll tell you:

Because today, the 101st day of full-day, eating-lunch-at-school school for Kiddo, I forgot to make her a lunch.

For the 100 days prior to this morning, I have gotten up, gotten Kiddo up, fixed her breakfast and then, while she sits at the table eating/picking at/staring at/utterly ignoring her meal (depends on the day), I fix her lunch and get her backpack packed with everything she needs (sneakers, notebook, folder, homework, snowpants, library book etc). Then, when that's done, I head upstairs to squirt some toothpaste on her Lion King musical toothbrush and get her clothes laid out and *then* I sit down at the computer for a few minutes and go through my morning internet routine (email, news headlines, People and E! headlines, blog reader list).

This morning? I got up, got Kiddo up, fixed her breakfast and............... got totally distracted by how I was constantly tripping over things that should have been in the laundry room but instead were everywhere in my kitchen. The counters, the floor, the stovetop, the table. Hubby finished painting the laundry room trim late last night and reassembled all the shelving in there, so instead of fixing her lunch, I decided that first, I'd put everything back into the laundry room. So I did, marveling at how nice and tidy it looks, with its fresh coat of Tear Drop Blue paint (we didn't have enough Soft Ecru, so we wound up killing off the leftover bit of the gallon we used for the downstairs bathroom, which is right next to the laundry room anyhow). I got a wee bit carried away by the beauty and wonder, and thus, when I finally emerged from the laundry room, I looked at the clock on the stove (which I could actually see again, now that it had been cleared of laundry room things) and thought to myself "Crap! Must get toothpaste on the toothbrush, stat!" and off I went upstairs. Kiddo came up a few moments later and we went about the rest of our routine ("I didn't hear Hakuna Matata play TWICE, Kiddo... Brush again!" "Moooo-oooom, I *did* brush two times already!" "No, you didn't, brush again NOW please!" ... "Why aren't you dressed yet?" "Mooo-oooom, I'm thinking!" "Well, could you please multitask and think while dressing?" ... "Stand still so I can comb your hair, please." "Mooo-oooom, I don't like it when you comb my hair." "You know, Bindi always stands still when her mom combs her hair, that's why it looks so nice on TV...") and it wasn't until 8:02, after the locating and proper placement of boots on feet, mittens on hands, coat on bod and hat on head that I reached down for Kiddo's backpack and realized that I hadn't made her a lunch.

Crap.

"Moooo-oooom, we don't say that word - it isn't nice or appropriate!"

Whoops, I thought I just thought it. Thank goodness "crap" was the only word I thought. I actually did swear aloud in Kiddo's presence the other day, but fortunately it was only the S word and it was under my breath after dripping paint on the stairs, and she was so enthralled by Happy Feet that she didn't hear me anyhow. I made it five and three quarter years before actually swearing in front of her - not too bad. But that was Sunday's award-winning moment, so I'm digressing.

Anyhow, I looked at the stovetop clock - 8:03. We need to be at the corner in three minutes. I briefly ponder how quickly I can throw some stuff into her lunch bag and as I'm standing there, empty lunch bag in hand, thinking "crap, crap, crappity crap" on the inside only this time, Kiddo figures out the situation and her face lights up.

"Mommmmmmmmm? It's okay, I am not sad that you didn't make me a lunch. We all make mistakes, don't worry. Accidents happen.

....

I can just be a buyer today, okay?"

One pair of very hopeful, big brown eyes looking up at me, breath held.

A-ha! (No, not aha, though I do love me some aha. Especially Magne. Sigh........ Whoops, digressing again.) A-ha! I can totally spin this, can't I?

"Hmmm, well, I don't know, Kiddo. It is a pretty big treat to buy your lunch........."

"Oh pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohprettyprettyplease, Mom? I'll do SUCH a good job today and I'll listen and cooperate and I'll clean my room and I won't bother the cat and I'll scratch your back for 130 minutes after school oh please Mom can I buy my lunch?"

"Hmmmmm."

I pretend to think about it for a few seconds.

"Okay. I guess that just for today, you can be a buyer."

And thus, I threw some white cheddar Cheez-Its into a baggie for her snack, tossed them into her Disney Princesses backpack and we exited the house for the bus stop, Kiddo loudly proclaiming Huzzah! and Hooray! and doing everything but throwing confetti. I texted her teacher to give her the scoop as Kiddo pondered aloud what she would buy for lunch. Toasted cheese? The entree of the day (which I don't even know, as I tossed the menu at the beginning of the month since, you know, Kiddo doesn't buy her lunch)? Ice cream? (I wouldn't be surprised if that's all Kiddo eats today....)

So, I am Mom the Hero for allowing Kiddo the rare treat of buying her lunch instead of bringing it (and buying milk, which thus far has been the only thing Kiddo has ever bought in the cafeteria) and I've got promises of good behavior and endless back scratching as well! So, gimme my trophy, please - Kiddo at least thinks I deserve it!

I'd like to say this will never happen again, that I've learned my lesson and that henceforth, I shall never neglect to pack a healthy, nutritious, cost-saving lunch for Kiddo from day 102 until the end of her school career.

I'd also like to say that George Clooney and Hugh Jackman are having a serenade-off outside my window right now, each proclaiming their undying affection and admiration through song.

I do have a great spot for that trophy, though - right on the stove top. It's all cleaned off and ready.

I'll leave you now, to get back to my cleaning and packing (the carpet cleaning dudes arrive tomorrow, so they have to actually be able to get to the carpet...) with a little of Kiddo's current toothbrush tune and a little Hugh and George, though sadly, I can't get any video of their serenade duel uploaded just now. I packed the cord for the video camera already, you see. Yeah, that's the ticket........

The "What Barbara Walters Would Ask if She Were HOT" meme

My dear blogosphere friend Eudea-Mamia just did this meme, and then graciously gave me the following questions so I could play, too. I'm fairly certain that credit for the title goes to EM, by the way....

My questions are:

1. Name one moment in your life when you were very proud of yourself (non Kiddo related!).

Um, I could go a bit cheesy here and say this moment:



but actually, I was more proud of passing the test and the audition/interview to get into the contestant pool than actually being called for the show, which was much more luck/chance than me actually *doing* something. Out of the 65 people that took the contestant exam that same day I did, only 6 of us passed it. So, that was a "woo, me!" moment.

On a less trivial level, I was also extremely proud of myself the day that I was promoted to the director of my department at the agency I worked for prior to the Ultimate Promotion to being a mom. I was only 27, the youngest person ever promoted to "senior management" and had been completely convinced I would never be picked to fill my predecessor's gigantic shoes. Some of the folks that I was up against for the job had PhDs and decades more experience than I, so I was a bit stunned to hear that I'd gotten the job. I'm further proud to say that during my tenure, my team exceeded all our contract requirements and benchmarks, started two new programs (one was a school-to-work program for high school students with disabilities, the other a program to help individuals with epilepsy who were unemployed or underemployed find and keep suitable employment) and had our department chosen to be one of five sites nationwide included in a federal grant. We were a great team and we helped a lot of people with very little resources and a lot of obstacles. I was definitely proud of that.

2. Which superpower would you choose a) being invisible? b) reading people's minds? c) stopping time?

Well, hmmm. Invisibility would be cool sometimes - I sure would work out a lot more if no one could see me huffing and puffing and sweating away, for example, or those times when I'm out in public with a melting-down kid, it sure would be great to be invisible then... Reading people's minds would also be cool, but could be very dangerous, as well. I mean, do I really want to know what people are thinking about me, really? *shudder* Pretending people are thinking well of me is probably the safer route for my ego, so no, not reading minds after all. (Though I suppose it would come in very handy with Kiddo, who at the age of 5 and a half has already perfected the monosyllabic grunt answer to questions like "How was your day at school?") Stopping time, hmmm, like Hiro on Heroes (which is on again starting tonight, woo-hoo!)? That could be good - I could keep Kiddo from bonking her noggin or skinning her knees, get the cat moved from the carpet to the linoleum *before* she gacked up that ginormous, juicy hairball, assist Hubby's golf game with an astounding amount of birdies - eagles, even! - prevent folks from sliding off the roads in all this snow and ice we just. Keep. Getting..... Yep, I think I'm going to go with stopping time.

3. What would your superhero name be?

This was a tough one. I was pondering aloud via my Facebook status and one of my old high school friends helpfully sent me a link to a site that generates your Superhero or Villian name. You have to plug in different variables (up to three) and then it will give you your name suggestions.

I scrolled through the list of variables, and decided that these were the best three for describing myself:



I mean, I'm whiter than the driven snow (skintone-wise), especially this time of year. (Hubby and I often joke that folks can always tell when we were outdoors in the summer because of the blinding glare thrown off our pasty white skin.) I am a jokester (of what caliber - whether "humorous" really is applicable, I cannot unbiasedly judge), and my shape does change, albeit generally between StayPuft, Doughboy and Jabba.

This is what came up for my variables........



Hmmm, definitely some possibilities there. I especially like Pale Girl and Fool Laugh.

I changed up the variables a bit (after deciding I am at least Queen of my own Insanity, if not my kingdom.........):



And came up with these:



Giggle Baroness? Oooh, that's good - royalty *and* it reminds me of The Sound of Music. Hmmm, I'll need to think a bit more on it and get back to you later.......

4. Name your top three crushes - real, fictional, past or present.

Okay, real (as well as past and present!):



(wasn't that obvious?)

Fictional:



and



From the past:







I know, that's more than three. I just couldn't narrow it down any further!

And now, it is time for me, Giggleo (pronounced Giggle-Oh, thankyouverymuch), to get motivated and off to the store. We're on a new mission to eat most of the food in the pantry (which is overflowing) and chest freezer before we move, so theoretically, grocery shopping should be a quick and painless task. Theoretically, anyhow... If anyone else wants to take a stab at this meme, give me a shout and I'll give you some questions!