Thursday, August 20, 2009

Things I have learned...

Things I have learned that have been going through my mind this week include:

- That I shall always have Hobbity Hooves. Seriously. I had actual stress-related nightmares the night before I was planning on having my first-ever pedicure. I wound up not going, because I couldn't imagine how something that stressed me out enough to have nightmares could possibly be relaxing or enjoyable. I did slap some nail polish onto my toes and Kiddo's, and that's gonna be as good as it gets.

- That if you google "hobbit feet image" you need to be prepared for the approximately 177,000 images that come up. If you hate feet as much as I do, I'd recommend skipping that particular google search keyword combo. *shudder*

- That if, after your housesitters arrive, you spend oodles of time describing your crazy cat's typical, ridiculously bizarre behavior so that they are prepared for what they'll be dealing with over the next ten days, your cat will lounge calmly atop a box on the lanai and utterly refuse to do anything remotely nuts.

- That when the housesitters aren't in your bedroom later but you are because you're trying to pack, your cat will leap up from a dead sleep to perch precariously on top of the TV in the bedroom and then sit at full attention, gazing intently at a spot on the wall right below the ceiling, as though receiving a message of vital importance from the Cat Home Planet. Of course by the time you can collect a witness to view this behavior, the cat will no longer be atop the TV but back in a more "ordinary" cat-type position, sleeping on the edge of the bed, all "what? me? crazy? Noooooo!" (I do, however, have no doubt that she was just putting her best foot forward, because she realizes these are the humans who will be responsible for feeding her, petting her, putting up with her shenanigans and possibly cleaning up the odd hairball or twelve. I'm sure her true colors will reveal themselves soon enough, likely as not in the aforementioned hairball form...........)

- That when describing your appearing-perfectly-normal-n-mellow cat's insane behavior to the newly arrived housesitters, your child *will* pop up at your elbow - seeming to materialize out of thin air - to helpfully comment on how Mommy has stepped on hairballs barefoot LOTS of times before, isn't that hilarious?

- That when we are approached in Disney World by one of the official photographers and asked to pose for a Disney "magical" photo in which we are instructed to gaze amazed at Kiddo's empty hands as though looking in awe at the magically photoshopped-in-later Tinkerbell, I must try not to look *too* amazed, or it will merely look like I'm wanting to bite Tink's head off for a tasty, tasty snack...

But that even if I *do* overact the faux amazement, someone else is just as likely to make a goofy "reaction" face at some point, so it won't be just me...

(That, by the by, was my growing-out-hair while in the Humidist Place on Earth from a year ago... I had my hair trimmed again this week, so it is much shorter for this go-around.)

- That if Kiddo wants to get her hair cut "super short" and I let the stylist take about 5.5 inches off of her hair, the result will be cute but that this?

Isn't quite long enough to do a single braid in the back or a single, decent ponytail. It will be interesting how Kiddo's hair gets done and how it will look when we are in the aforementioned Humidest Place on Earth.

- That you need to stop by my hilarious friend Andy's
brilliantly written blog here and enter her giveaway tomorrow morning. Trust me, you want in on this - the prize is fantabulous. I'm going to enter, which is a good thing for everyone else, because not only do I never win anything on Andy's blog, but the winners tend to be either people I know or random internet strangers who happen to post directly before or after me. Seriously. The gods hate my guts!

- That, thanks to Hubby's assistance, I will be able to live Tweet (and Facebook status update) our trip, even though I only have a crappy, old, non-full-keyboard-for-easy-texting type cell phone!!! (Unlike, say, Hubby's Blackberry or an iPhone or even a phone with an actual keyboard...) This means that you are guaranteed at least one message with typos kvetching about the heat and/or the humidity each day from tomorrow through the end of the month! Doesn't that make you want to follow me on Twitter (if you aren't already)? Heh!

- That being here

with these two people is awesome, amazing, fun and fantabulous, and that I will be there by this time tomorrow!

- That I will probably be on my computer again in the morning, so I should go to bed now.

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