Firsts.......

Well, the first week in the new house has passed now. Here's a recap of some of the firsts we've had during the first week in our new home!

Kiddo's first chore in the new house: picking up sticks in the front and back yards so I could mow the jungle that was our lawn. She did a surprisingly great job!




The first time the living room and dining room (pictured below) hardwood floors saw daylight in 44 years, following the removal of that heinous, mauve carpet you can still see on the stairs...



First Sunday Night Nachos (a Mr. & Mrs. Smith weekly tradition) in the new house. The first actual meal I cooked on the stove was macaroni and cheese for Kiddo, not counting reheating pizza and other meals sent over by lovely friends. Haaaate the new stove/oven, and the range hood fan is horrendous - though I did almost convince Kiddo the "fan" is actually a hive of bees sucking air up through straws because the noise is that loud and buzzy - but they work well enough so we're living with them for now - we'll see what we do about appliances when we get to the Great Kitchen Renovation this fall.



First exploration of the new neighborhood! Kiddo had a half day on Monday, so she and I went scootering and walking around the nabe, meeting several lovely neighbors (though alas, none were the Jackman family like the dream I had a few weeks ago) in the process.



(To get back to our house, in case we were at all uncertain where home was, we just had to find the pile o' ugly carpeting and padding that was awaiting collection by the garbage man. The morning they picked it up and carted it off was a great joy to us, but caused great dismay to the chipmunks who were merrily setting up a home inside some of the rolls...

)

The first time Kiddo wore this new outfit, because we had a few days of crazy hot temperatures, like midsummer in mid-spring! Kiddo is doing her big, jazz hands finish here to a song she was singing ("No One Loves You Any Better Than Your M-O-double M-Y" as recorded by John Lithgow). Now, I had asked her to stop on our way out the door that morning to drive to school and give me a smile so I could capture her cuteness. Being my daughter, she can't content herself with a quick smile for the camera, and instead must launch into a full-on song-n-dance routine.



The first grilled dinner, done for the first time on the new grill (our old one, which was little more than rust molecules held together by a thin residue of Delicious Meals Past, died when Hubby tried cooking on it last weekend). This was followed by the first eating on the back patio, which was lovely despite a few bothersome moments due to bite-y gnats and no-see-'ums. Once the boxes have moved off the lanai and the lanai furniture arrives (we're getting my late grandparents' set that my parents have in storage at the farm), we will be able to dine alfresco but not be bugged by bugs, which will be delightful. For now, the lanai is primarily enjoyed by the boxes and Crazy Cat goes crazy watching all the wildlife in the back yard.


(No, this picture wasn't at all staged, really. Why would you even think that? ;) )

From earlier today, the first ice cream of the season! Okay, actually this isn't ice cream, but rather Abbott's Frozen Custard, which Hubby has always sworn is better than any ice cream in the world. Kiddo didn't disagree, exactly, either....



The first feeding of the ducks on the Erie Canal of the season, which also occurred earlier this afternoon:



So, we have gotten a lot accomplished already (and by "we" I mean "mostly Hubby because he is absolutely amazing at the amount of stuff he can accomplish in a short time and I'm seriously in awe") and we have a lot left to do. There have been a few surprises along the way, like discovering the return air ducts that should draw air out of our bedroom and Kiddo's bedroom instead don't connect to anything and are drawing air out of the space between the floor and the ceiling. That'll be a several hundred dollar professional repair job next week, which has pushed the carpet installation out by a week, which pushes the "getting the office and family room stuff moved out of temporary spaces and set up properly" project out by a week as well... but we're persevering, enjoying the neighborhood (it is SO much quieter than the old neighborhood, which we never even thought was that noisy!) and getting settled in, removing the Eau d'Oldster and replacing it with Eau d'Fresh Paint (Soft Linen and Garden Moss are the first two colors going up, we've yet to settle on a shade of pink for Kiddo's room and haven't even given any thought to the bathrooms yet) instead.

Hope everyone else is enjoying a paint-fume and wallpaper-removal free weekend, especially those of you celebrating a long, holiday weekend. If you want to see photos of the renovation, Hubby has started a blog to document our progress and I would be happy to point you that way; just send me an email and I'll give you the link! Alternatively, I've been posting pictures on Facebook, so if you aren't one of my Facebook friends and want to be, you can see all the photos your heart desires of the house project there as well - just friend me, baby!

More to come, with Kiddo's birthday, kindergarten class field trip to the zoo and birthday party all in the coming week!

On the seventh day...

He may have rested on Sunday, but not us. Then again, it isn't actually our seventh day in the new house, but only the third full day. Let me give you the rundown of what we've done so far:

- Ripped out dark pink (some call it mauve, I've also heard it called rose) carpeting and underlying padding from the living room, dining room and upstairs hall, leaving it in place only on the stairs until the carpet dudes come to install runners and W2W on the lower level.

- Decided between "Pearly Fleck" and "Natural Fleck" carpet samples I'd driven around in the van for a week for the lower level and staircase runners. (Natural Fleck won, and yes they WERE TOO different colors. Really. The differences were subtle but real, dagnabit!)

- Removed the tack strips, complete with ninety million nails and eleventy million staples, from just about everywhere there had been carpeting, with actual Smith Family Feet stepping on the aforementioned nails and staples only four times in the process (and three of those were mine - yee-OUCH) (Oh, and for the record, Hubby and Kiddo did all the tack-strip removal, I pulled nary a staple or nail myself.)

- Removed large, padded area rugs from all three bedrooms.

- Removed the matching Pink/Mauve/Rose swag valances from all the downstairs windows, which were installed by means of hammering in seven thousand brass upholstery nails (the fancy kind that one sees on leather, wingback chairs in Rich Old Man Studies) along the top of the window frames.

- Unloaded the truck, minivan and car, thereby ensuring we have Boxes Everywhere.

- Cleaned 44 years' worth of Oldster Grime Remnants from various surfaces, with many more surfaces to go.

- Mowed the front and sides of the yard, bringing the grass level down from Holy Heck, Did We Buy a Plot of Jungle? to Well, it Isn't Perfect But You Can Tell it is Just a Lawn, Whew.

- Hauled all the carpeting and padding out to the curb, where it really didn't look any nicer in the sunlight.

- Made one very expensive trip to Walmart, slightly less expensive trips to Bed, Bath and Beyond and Target and one trip to our new "home" grocery store, following which I vowed I will never, ever shop there on a Saturday afternoon again, ever. (Holy tourists and slack-jawed yokels, Batman!)

- Consumed our respective body weights in pizza, subs, soda and Dunkin Donuts, with one lovely respite meal delivered via one of the college boys hired to help us move, made by his mom - pulled pork BBQ, baked beans and a ridiculously delicious apple pie.

- Officially signed the death certificate for our grill, which I was surprised Hubby even wanted to try moving, as it was barely more than a mass of rust molecules held together only by a thin layer of Residue of Meals Past. Also subsequently finished cooking sausages and hot dogs in the Ancient and Tiny Oven instead of grilling our first Saturday night dinner in the new house.

- Asked "Have you seen the........." eighty-five thousand, six hundred and twelve times.

- Answered "It was in a box........." eighty-five thousand, six hundred and twelve times.

- Snarked "WHICH box? Where?" eighty-five thousand, six hundred and twelve times.

- Snapped "I don't know - just go LOOK for it, all the boxes are labeled!" eighty-five thousand, six hundred and twelve times.

- Ate another donut because of stress of all the damn boxes.

- Instituted Rule in which if one opens a box looking for something, one must then unpack that entire box.

- Threatened to Ignore That Rule and then counter-threatened to Divorce Immediately if the rule was ignored.

- Ignored the Rule anyway (but so has he, so ha ha hardy ha ha).

- Scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed at the Weird, I Don't Want to Think About the Origin or I'll Totally Freak Out discolorations and stains on various bathroom surfaces.

- Realized I didn't really miss having Tiles with Ancient Grout in bathrooms over these past 9.5 years of having New, Non-Tile bathroom fixtures (grew up in a house full of Tiles with Ancient Grout).

- Went to eat another donut because of the stress of Weird Discolorations and Stains but discovered the donut box was empty. Because that was the one box in the house that had to be empty, right?

- Worried about the health of Kiddo's goldfish, temporarily housed in a dirty tank with nonworking filter on the hearth of the fireplace in the family room, but decided to wait it out until Hubby cleans it all out and fixes it up.

- Met two of the neighbors (one from across the street, one from next door) who came over to introduce themselves and welcome us to the neighborhood, and waved at the other next-door neighbor as we headed out to the Ridiculous Grocery Store.

- Had our first official visitor who wasn't a service person (Yay Kristin!) who kindly didn't comment on the state of disaster in which we currently are dwelling.

- Had a locksmith come over to re-key the locks so that the number of keys we needed to carry to enter our home was something less than a million (seriously - two locks per door, five doors into the house, and a different key for each lock. All the keys had Oldster Code on them in the form of various combinations of dots in various shades of Pink/Rose/Mauve and red nail polish. Not being 86 years old, we were unable - okay, unwilling - to crack the code).

- Verified that there are in fact four eggs in the robins' nest above the light on our back patio, thereby saving the nest from being knocked down by Hubby because it might damage the exterior.

- Freecycled the first of our eleventy billion boxes as we finally, finally got some unpacked.

Whew.

Alas, there still are many, many, many, mannnnnnnnnny boxes left to unpack, miles of wallpaper to strip (haven't stripped a single inch yet) and many surfaces left to de-Oldsterfy. When we came through the house on our final walk-through the other night, we were sure that the Oldsters had hired a cleaning crew to come through, because on first glance, everything looked all clean. We had spent hours - literally, HOURS - cleaning our house before we left, down to thoroughly mopping the floors and wiping down all the counters, cabinet shelves and drawers. And the fridge and freezer and the washer and dryer, too. I even washed off the damn lint screen in the dryer. Once we moved in, though, we realized that not only had they not hired professionals to clean, they really hadn't cleaned anything themselves, either. I mean, it isn't filthy, but there is a definite layer of 44 years of accumulated residue on everything from the rails of the wrought-iron railings on the stairs to the doors and walls and shelves... The terms of the contract state that things will be "broom clean" upon occupancy, and I guess they were, it just wasn't the same level of broom clean that we did at our old house. Sigh.

So, we plow onward through towers of boxes and gallons of cleaning products. Things are starting to find homes where they belong, like the linens and pantry items, and my goal for the end of today is to have the kitchen unpacked and put together so that we're no longer hunting through towers of boxes in the garage or on the lanai for a spatula or pot holder or what have you. Hubby is going to take out the orange shag carpeting in the office and continue working on the wiring of the house (cable and phone lines need to be run basically to every room, as it was only on the lower level and in the kitchen, and he didn't want to pay the Time Warner dude to do it when he could do it himself). Kiddo is going to continue to alternately offer to help us with things and write plaintive notes saying "Der Mom, I just want to do sumthing fun. Love, Kiddo" or "Der Mom, I wish there was sumthing fun that I culd do insted of work. Love, Kiddo" though she did act like a kid at Christmas when I opened up one of the boxes for her room and tossed a variety of princesses, dinosaurs and My Little Ponies on the floor for her to play with yesterday. Crazy Cat is no longer cowering behind the dryer, and is now prowling about the house as if she owns the place. She even has barfed up hairballs in the middle of the night for the past two nights - clearly she is feeling much more comfortable and at home. We haven't yet unpacked my computer (I'm using Hubby's laptop right now) or found the camera cords, so I can't share any pictures of the progress so far, but I will as soon as I am able.

And now Hubby has finished showering in the newly scrubbed, newly shower-curtained, newly installed showerheaded Pepto Bismol shower, which is my signal to get off the computer and back to life in the land of Moving. Yee-ha!

Hope everyone is having a delightful weekend that doesn't require the opening or unpacking of any boxes or any Oldster Residue Removal!!

Reflections in the dawn's early light

Ice packs that one can strap on to one's body are one of the best things, ever.

Sometimes, there is not enough Advil in the house. Even when one has an economy sized bottle.

The new house has a certain, clinging scent of Eau d' Oldster. It is improving with the removal of all the carpets and area rugs, and with opening the windows (something the previous owners apparently NEVER did), but it may take wallpaper removal and paint to banish it for good.

Good thing we're planning on removing wallpaper and paint.

We need a new showerhead and shower curtain in the master bath. (Hubby discovered this at around 5:45; I haven't attempted a shower in the new house yet myself.) Apparently, there was Major Badness when he attempted to use the Pepto Bismol Shower. Yikes.

We have traded the X-rated waterfowl of the old house for the Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds Social Club. And a nearby fire house with a siren. And a near-enough-to-hear-the-horn train tracks.

As I grew up in houses that were near fire houses and train tracks, neither of those sounds bothered me much. Kiddo seems to have slept through them as well.

They made some *ugly* wallpaper patterns in the late 60s.

One can survive on pizza, soda and donuts for a surprisingly long time.

I really need to go to the grocery store.

I really, really hate boxes.

TGIF y'all!

We're in...

Hey gang! Quick update to let you know we're in the new (old!) house! Both closings went smoothly, all systems are go - the Time Warner dude was supposed to arrive between 4 and 7 and walked up the driveway at 4:15, a miracle! - so we have power, cable, phone and internet (albeit Hubby's laptop on a shelf in the kitchen - not too conducive to blogsurfing as of yet).

The bad news is I took a spectacular, flying leap off the top of the stairs and landed with a resounding thud. Okay, fine, I fell backwards from the top step (thank heavens we're in a split level so the top step is only five steps up!) when we were carrying out the area rug from the one bedroom, but still, I *did* land with a resounding thud, right on my left knee, shoulder and elbow. Yee-OUCH. I haven't looked at the damage yet but I can tell it is swollen. Hubby hurt his one wrist yesterday while moving stuff around and as he did way more lifting and carrying than I did (along with the assistance of the two college boys from our old church we lined up to help with the move) so I am guessing we are going to be moving verrrrrry slowly come the morning. The price one pays for saving money and not hiring professionals to do all this stuff, eh?

Kiddo is mucho excited about the new house, her new room (soon to be painted a shade of pink she has selected) and the new yard, but mostly the new next-door neighbor's dog (which looks to be a giant schnauzer from the glimpses we've had through the hedgerow). Crazy Cat is decidedly NOT happy about the move thus far. She had only ever lived in our old house for her entire life, so she is a little WTH?!?! about the entire venture. (Our old cat moved 8 times in 13 years, so for her it was old hat.) We let her out of the carrier right next to her new litter box location in the laundry room and she promptly ensconced herself behind the dryer in the corner, under the vent pipe/tube thingy. She has only ventured out twice, briefly, and Hubby reported that he picked her up and brought her to the top of the stairs while I was out collecting Kiddo from her grandparents (she is sick so was out of school today) (I think it is just a minor cold; she has no fever and is going back tomorrow, but I'd be lying if I said "swine flu" didn't cross my mind when she first became symptomatic yesterday) (not that we've been anywhere where she could've gotten swine flu, other than school, of course) (not that I wouldn't mind having been on a Mexican beach instead of hauling nasty, 44 year old carpet rolls that are trying to kill me out to the curb), and he said she was being all super freaked out about stepping on the tile floor of the bathroom at the top of the stairs and then raced back down to her spot behind the dryer. I figure she'll come out eventually, perhaps in the morning when she discovers the robins' nest above the light over the patio in back... The fish has thus far survived as well, even with living in a 5 gallon paint bucket for the past 48 hours.

The best news so far is that we have discovered the hardwood floors under the nasty, nasty pink carpeting in the living room and dining room are GORGEOUS. Totally worth the pain and effort of getting rid of the pink plush!!!

So, that's the story from here. Hubby and I watched the season finales of ANTM and Lost last night (flipping over to check on Idol) while sitting on the floor of our living room, as there was no furniture left in the house besides our mattresses upstairs. It was definitely a memorable way to spend the last night, if not the most comfortable. Now we're gonna take a break and watch the season finales of The Office and 30 Rock on the floor of our new family room tonight, then head to bed. Plenty of work to be done yet, but an hour or two off to ice our weary, battered bones won't kill us!

More tomorrow, including pictures if I can get them uploaded (have to find cords and/or figure out where we can temporarily set up my computer until the office is done) but for now, thanks for the good vibes, thoughts and prayers and I'll be back soon! *mwah*

The Dark Side of the Moon

Let me start out by saying that so far, this has not been a great week. The fun is only going to get better from here on out, too, as we'll be picking up the ginormous U-Haul tomorrow night and loading it up Wednesday morning, bright and early, with the assistance of some stronger, younger backs and arms in the form of some college kids from our old church who are home for the summer and willing to work for cash and pizza. Then it is the Big Closing Day on Thursday, when, if all goes as it should, we will officially cease to own our current house and will instead take possession of the new house on the other side of town. Friday morning the U-Haul will be unloaded (hopefully with the continued assistance of the college boys, assuming we haven't scared them off on Wednesday), and then Operation Renovation will begin in earnest.

Of course, in the midst of all this, I will be without ready internet access for up to several days. *twitch twitch* As my ever lovely blogging buddy Ronnica put it to me this morning, it feels like I'm Tom Hanks going around the moon. (Hence, the title of my post. It is not really a Pink Floyd reference. I never got into Pink Floyd despite having friends in high school who were ardent, ardent fans.) It's probably for the best, I mean, it isn't like I don't have ridiculous amounts of stuff to do, and on top of that I haven't been sleeping well (hello stress) or eating well (hello, dregs of the dregs of the pantry, fridge and freezer), my allergies are kicking up bigtime and we had some not-so-good news at Kiddo's eye doctor appointment today. (I can't go into it without crying right now, so I shall just say that eye surgery is now much more of a possibility than we'd thought prior to the appointment this afternoon, and leave it at that. Side note: if you are quietly weeping to yourself as you get in line at the grocery store, people will totally give you cutsies. Just saying, in case you're ever really in a rush, consider it. Who knew?)

So, I'm basically a half inch away from an utter meltdown right now, which doesn't make me a very good blogger or blogosphere buddy anyway, so you're probably all well rid of me for a few days.

I was going to do some posts in advance to post while I'm back in the dark ages of No Internet, but I just haven't had a chance. (Heck, I've got computer-related things to do going back to March - Carma, I swear to George Clooney that I haven't forgotten your video. It will happen, really.) So, I'm going to point you to a few of my favorite blogs, in no particular order, who always make me laugh, sometimes to the point of a spit-take and/or side cramp. I'm fairly sure I've mentioned them to you before, because I *big red puffy heart* them all. If you don't read these ladies already, you should definitely go over and get to know them. They're all wittier and funnier writers than I ever could hope to be, even when I'm not stressed beyond belief and worrying about my kid and which box exactly had my last wits in it and did I label that one "fragile" or not......

So, check out these fantabulous women's blogs and please forgive me for a lack of commenting/blogsurfing for the next ????????????? I swear I'll be back (and that's not a threat, it's a promise, as my mother used to say)! I'll see you once we've come back around from the dark side of the moon............

Andy at The Creative Junkie
Margaret at Nanny Goats in Panties
Anna at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder
Kiki at Flibbertigibbet

The times, they are a-changin'

A little over five years ago, my first nephew was born. Living six hours away from my siblings as we do, it was one of those "wait for the phone to ring in the middle of the night" kind of scenarios to hear the news that the baby was born and was a he.

A few hours ago, my latest nephew was born. This time around, instead of waiting for the phone call, I followed the progress of his birth from "they've gone to the hospital" through the "11pm and nothing yet" to "almost time to push" to "HE'S HERE!" via text message and my brother's Facebook account. My brother posted the first baby pictures (long gone are the days of waiting for a family member to upload the pictures and email them to the far-away relatives like us) on Facebook via his cell phone from the hospital, so we've been able to oooh and aaah over the baby already. At 9 pounds, 7 ounces (and with a head circumference of 15 inches!), he is over twice the size Kiddo was when she was born.

The times, they are a-changin' indeed.

Other signs that the times, they are a-changin'? Well, I've gone from dreaming of the likes of Hugh and George



to lusting over the likes of these fellows:



Yep, Norm, Tom and Ty are my new dream men. Of course, I only want them to come over to our new house and help with the renovation, mind you... Actually, I'm not picky. Any of the experts from the DIY channel or HGTV are welcome to turn up with their fancy tools and endless resources to help get the house redone!

Speaking of renovations and new houses, our closing is looming! (We should be hearing about our closing date sometime in the next two days..) So, another 8-10 days and we're out of here and into the House of Wallpaper and Wood Paneling. Hubby, being the ever efficient and extremely organized sort that he is, has worked out a schedule for the projects we have planned for the new house. They include:

- ripping out the remaining carpeting in the living room, dining room, office, staircases and hallway

- stripping all the wallpaper throughout the house

- painting all the walls and ceilings

- painting the wood paneling in the family room

- carpeting the lower level of the house (family room, office and hallway)

- gutting the kitchen and redoing it all, including removing the wall between the kitchen and dining room, tiling the floor and installing new cabinets and counters

- repainting the exterior doors and shutters

- redoing all three bathrooms (tiling floors, installing new fixtures and replacing the sinks with vanities)

- replacing the wrought-iron banisters/railings with wooden ones

- running cable/electric/phone lines everywhere, including what is necessary to install ceiling fans/lights overhead in the bedrooms

Are you tired yet? 'Cause I'm exhausted just thinking about it, personally. Thankfully, Hubby has thought everything through very thoroughly, so we have a detailed game plan and we have prioritized everything. First up will be the carpet removal, the lower level painting and carpeting, and Kiddo's bedroom. Next will be the kitchen. After that, we'll tackle the rest of the projects as time and budget permits. The carpeting in the lower level will be done by professionals. The rest? Hubby and me (now you see why I'm a little swoony over Norm and Tom and Ty). We haven't actually done any renovation projects of this magnitude before, so this is going to be interesting, to say the least.

None of the above takes into account that we've discovered we can't afford movers (which cost less than half what we were quoted this time around the last time we moved, nine years ago - again, the times, they are a-changin') so we're going for Plan B, which is a U-Haul and a few college boys who are willing to work for cash and pizza. This means the actual move itself is going to require a lot more from Hubby and me than we'd initially thought.

When all is said and done, not just the times will be a-changin' but our address and the entire interior of the new house, too!

(And who am I kidding? Just the other night, I dreamed that we moved into our new house and our next door neighbors were Hugh Jackman and his family. They weren't celebrities, mind you, just the family that happened to live next door. They invited us over for a BBQ and were all excited that Kiddo was adopted, since their kids are adopted as well...)

Phriday Photo Phun - Phew!

This? A thing of beauty.




Four little letters atop our For Sale sign that make my heart beat faster........

Now, folks've been clamoring for house pictures of the NEW digs. Well, I don't feel comfortable posting pictures on my blog just yet, as closing hasn't happened and the current owners are still living there and have all their belongings in there and such. So, a few "won't invade the privacy of the current owners" shots are all I can give you here now. Consider this a preview, and then if everything goes well, I should be able to post loads of photos on or about May 30th (hopefully sooner)...


This is the upstairs bathroom. Kiddo thinks the flower-n-butterfly wallpaper is "just so, so beautiful" and thinks the pattern of the sink counter is fantabulous:





Didn't get a close enough look at the countertop? Check it out in its full glory:





Now, I know I said the biggest cosmetic EEEK on the house is the wallpaper. And it *is* the wallpaper, too - mainly because every. Last. Square. Inch! of the house is wallpapered. Well, except for the family room and laundry room - those are wood paneling. (Hubby really despises wood paneling, by the way. With a passion.) But the wallpaper (which looks like this in the living room, for an example:)





isn't the only thing that will need updating.


Oh, no. There is also some wall-to-wall carpet that will need removing. It is predominately a plush, plush mauve (living room, dining room, stairs and upstairs hallway) but downstairs, in the fourth bedroom (that will be our home office), lurks this:





I'm not sure the cropping enables you to fully appreciate the depth and color variations of the shag. This shag is longer than my hair (and better highlighted, too). Egads. I have a sneaking feeling that until we get that carpet out, I will feel compelled to don a leisure suit every time I want to sit at my computer. Yes, that'll be me, blogging while looking like a Studio 54 wannabe (or is that Studio 57, Kara?). I'm tempted to trade in the overhead light for one of these bad boys:





Bam chicka wocka chicka bam chicka wow wow! (Someone please cue Adam Lambert singing Play That Funky Music here for me, will ya please? Or just have him come on over and serenade me once we've moved into the Time Warp Castle..... I know I'm digressing, but boy do I just love, love, LOVE Adam. Totally my favorite Idol contestant this season. Maybe ever.)


Anyhow, things are going as well as they can be (*knocking wood*) thus far with the house selling and buying processes. Hopefully mortgage loan commitment letters will be secured soon and attorneys will diligently work on all their shizzle to get us closer to closing. Woo! We've been through the house at length twice this week, and even have met the current owners, who are a lovely couple and who, despite having lived here in our distinctively accented corner of western NY for the better part of the past half decade, still both strongly speak in the unmistakable tones of New Englanders (Massachusetts, to be exact, as it turns out). I was waiting for them to tell me about pahking the cahs and mowing the yahd... While I myself try not to speak in the dulcet inflections of my native New Jersey (hey babe, I'll cawl you and we'll go to the mawl, okay?), I suppose it could be considered preferable to the local accent... (Oh, those flat "a" sounds especially make me cringe when I hear them flying willy-nilly out of my mouth. And to hear Kiddo talking in the local accent also makes me shudder.... I swear to you now, however, that Kiddo will refer to "soda" as "pop" only over my cold, dead, soda-drinking body, and I don't care what everyone else around here calls it!) I certainly never picked up the New England accent during our time living there, beyond grabbing hold of their fondness for the word wicked and bringing that back to NY with me, but I have heard myself mention the pond out behind our house and having it rhyme a little too closely with hand...


But I digress again. What I wanted to say before going off on that phonological/anthropological tangent is that we really, really love the house, despite the gentle ribbing of the plush shag and acres of wallpaper and Pepto-Bismol pink tile shower in the master bath. (Oh, didn't I show you that? Check it out:)





Yes, this house is going to need a lot of work to bring it from the Brady Bunch era up to the late Aughties, but it has many pluses, too:

• It is less than 10 minutes from Hubby's office.
• It is in one of the best school districts in the area.
• It has a lovely, flat yard with mature trees (they actually provide SHADE!) and the yard is significantly bigger than our yard now.
• It has four bedrooms, enabling us to have an actual office and not a guest room-slash-office.
• In fact, it is almost 600 square feet bigger than our current home. Also, it has a bigger garage and a longer driveway for Kiddo's chalk art/bike or scooter riding/rollerskating pursuits.
  
• Kiddo's bedroom will be much larger, enabling her to have more of her things (table and chairs, easel) in her room.
• Hardwoods! Almost all the house has hardwoods, and they're in pretty good shape from what we can see of them.
• It has a family room with a wood-burning fireplace. (Kiddo is especially excited about that, as now roasting marshmallows won't only be a treat for when we're visiting Grandma and Grandpa in NJ, and Santa can enter our home the traditional way instead of through the door off the deck.)
• It has a master bath (albeit with pink tile and wallpaper). That's one bathroom more than we have now.
• There's a utility sink in the laundry room. I had no idea how much I'd want a utility sink until I didn't have one in this house!
  
• It has a most delightful "Florida room" aka a sunroom or a three-season porch. (Even better, my mom told us we can have my grandparents' rattan furniture set from their sunroom, which is presently languishing in storage in their attic. Totally psyched about that!)
• It has a garbage disposal. We always meant to put one in here, after living with one in the townhouse we were in before building our house, but somehow we never got around to it.
  
• The house is about ten minutes away from the best shopping mall in the area.
• According to the current owners, the neighbors on either side have high-school aged daughters who babysit. Woo!
• The yard that appears to have actual soil, instead of clay masquerading as soil. Deeelightful!

So, while I may whinge and moan in upcoming weeks/months/years about the horrid datedness of it all (we will be redoing as we live there, since we can't really swing the dough to hire an Extreme Home Makeover crew to whip through everything and won't have a window of time to do much of anything before we need to move in), I am really, really, reaaaaaallllllllly happy!


Want to check out more Phriday Photo Phiesta Phun? Pop on over to Candid Carrie's blog!

.....and the winner is.....

Okay, all you all who have been on the edgiest of edges of your seats, the wait is finally over! I did a highly scientific tallying system (using pen and paper) to make sure every commenter that had a second entry got their fair number of entries. (This was necessary as some folks especially messed me up with the nonsequential comments. You'll recall, I have nary a wit nor marble, as any previously in my possession are chillaxing with my autographed dreamboat pictures off in the storage unit...) Then I went over to Random.org as Kiddo is already long since asleep (thanks to an afternoon of fresh air and "scootering" as she calls it, along with helping Hubby do some early-season yard work - anything to improve curb appeal, eh?) and typed in my numbers. And the winner is..............




Number 11, who by my careful, highly mathematical and scientific method, is

Carma!

Carma, I'll be dropping by your blog a lot in the next few days to come up with ideas for your song/video that will undoubtedly include the ever-dreamy Alec Baldwin and possibly the Garden State. I will beg for your patience in this video-making process, with a twofold excuse: (1) the house showing stuff means I have to abandon my computer for unknown stretches at a time (NB - is it wrong to lurk in the neighbor's bushes and spy on the folks checking out our house? Shoot, I thought so...) and (2) having a whole day of fresh air inside and out (yay for almost-Spring and open windows) has rendered me incapable of breathing, much less singing. I'm Rudolph the Red-Nosed Allergy Chick right now. So, I will get my blood levels of Claritin up to a tolerable percentage and then belt out your very own, customized, full of pizazz and possibly jazz hands song and create a video just for you very, very soon!

Thanks to all who entered. If you're terribly, horribly distraught and devastated that you weren't the lucky winner, take heart! My blogaversary and 300th post are both coming up in the next few weeks, maybe I'll do another video giveaway for one of those Very Special Occasions!

In the meantime, please think good thoughts on the house hunting thing for us; we have an offer in that they're supposed to respond to by tomorrow at 10 (Hubby thinks they may just not respond - isn't that rude? Or is that how it goes if you don't like an offer, you just ignore it 'til it expires?) and we had two showings this weekend, so maybe, hopefully one of those showings turns into an offer for us.....

Off to make some nachos and watch the Race that always Amazes - woo-hoo!

Oh yeah, right, the Spring Fling giveaway results.....

Oooookay, the video giveaway winner was supposed to be announced this morning, which I totally would've done if we hadn't had our first showing set for today, which meant that instead of hanging out on the computer, figuring out who had how many entries and then determining a winner, I spent the morning racing around like a crazy chick and making sure everything was all spiffy and sparkly and shiny and spotless.

Then, this afternoon I had to chauffeur Kiddo to a birthday party and then we had to hightail it out of here for the showing, and then after the showing was over, we had just enough time to get home and get Kiddo bathed and fed when her grandparents came over and Hubby and I went out. As in to socialize with other adults, no kids, for an evening. Seriously, I cannot remember the last time this happened, so I was pretty much running around like a crazy chick to get ready and go out and not giving my blog a second thought.

And now? Now I'm back and it is past my bedtime (I came home first - yes, I am *that* socially pathetic that I took a separate car because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay up/out as late as Hubby) and I can barely type straight.

So, that's my great, big pile of Clofu - erm, I mean excuses - for why I didn't pick a winner yet.

I promise I'll get to it by tomorrow night. If I'd made it easier, I could've done it tonight but folks actually followed me so that gets an extra entry and after playing poker all night, my brain cannot do any more complex math (what? I'm the big blind? and the blinds just went up? How many red chips does that mean I need to throw in? Is an ace high or low? ) (Okay, seriously I'm not that bad, I do actually know my way around a poker table, I'm just trying to gain sympathy for my lameness at breaking the rules I set for announcing the winner.) (Maybe it would be better if I just threw myself on the mercy of all the other parents out there - we had the chance for a NIGHT OUT, with OTHER ADULTS, with FREE BABYSITTING, even. I mean, come on, that's enough to make anyone's head spin, right?)

So, by tomorrow night, the winner will be figured out with the lovely assistance of either Kiddo or Random.org - whichever one will cooperate better at the time. I can't promise an announcement any earlier tomorrow because we've got another showing at 11:30 so we're going to have to make ourselves scarce again.

And there you have it. Hope everyone's having a great weekend and stay tuned for the big announcement (I mean, you're all on the very edgiest edges of your seats, holding your breath right now, right?) tomorrow night!

Um, I love George and all, but I think *this* is even too much for me...

Check this out. I don't even think I would want to eat that. Well, maybe if it meant we'd get a buyer for our house..........

Speaking of house news, Kiddo and I are off to meet Hubby and look at our #1 house choice again (saw it this morning) and then discuss offers with our agent, AND we have the first showing of our house set for this Saturday afternoon. Things are moving along, hopefully quickly, smoothly and positively!!!!

House recap - not the cranky yet hunky doctor kind, the actual home kind

Hubby and I, in between painting and painting and scrubbing and packing and painting some more, have been perusing the real estate listings for our hopeful new home for the past few weeks. After much deliberation and staring at every teensy detail of the online photographs available, we narrowed down our list to 11 homes that met (at least on paper) all our basic criteria. This afternoon, we went out to lunch (using the gift card Mom and Dad gave us for our wedding anniversary back in January - thanks, Mom and Dad!) and then took a drive past the homes on our list. Several are in the same general neighborhood and they all are within 10 minutes of Hubby's office, so it wasn't like we were traipsing here, there and everywhere (um, except when we'd get turned around on the side streets of unfamiliar neighborhoods...). It turned out that three of the properties were having open houses, so we walked through those three, and the rest we drove by very slowly a few times each, idling in front for a bit if the road allowed. (According to our real estate agent, "drive bys" are a common phenomenon for houses on the market, especially in the first weeks of a new listing.)

Well.

I suppose the good news is that we now have fewer houses for which we need to make appointments to see. Like, all three that we walked through today. The first one seemed to have employed trick photography in its online listing - the kitchen was nowhere near as big as it appeared in the various pictures. That wasn't the dealbreaker so much as the odd, multi-level split level layout (here some stairs, there some stairs, everywhere some stairs, stairs, stairs), along with the lack of an appropriate space that could be a dedicated office and the really strong mildewy smell coming from the basement.

Speaking of smells, when we first walked in, we met the real estate agent hosting the open house, as you do. She was........ interesting. Older but trying to look much younger than her age. Fake bake veering on the side of "much too orange" with lots of makeup (including baby blue eyeshadow - really, need I say more?), big, dyed hair and an overly accessorized outfit. She had, as the always fantabulous Tim Gunn would say, a lot of look going on there. Naturally, someone who goes to that degree with hair, makeup, clothing, nails and jewelry would go a bit further than is prudent in the body fragrance category, and some heavily floral scent I recognized but couldn't name was wafting off of her in practically visible waves. The whole package was a bit much, but hey, we were there for the house, not the agent. (And she, in all her overdone, overscented glory was far better than the guy at the next house, who apparently had eaten some sort of oniony-garlicky dish for lunch and hadn't bothered to pop an Altoid or seven. He also was fuzzy on the details of his offering - "I think it's about XYZ" and "I'm pretty sure that there is ZYX" were typical for his spiel, and yes, this was the primary listing agent, not some junior flunky stuck with the Sunday afternoon open house gig. I mean, it was his picture - albeit obviously from several years earlier - on the sign out front.)

Annnnyhow, as we walked through the first house, the agent's perfume lingered throughout, along with what smelled like air freshener sprayed liberally to cover (but not quite succeeding) what Hubby was convinced was the smell of dog. (There are not many smells less pleasant than aged, wet dog...) When we reached the first of the bathrooms, Kiddo spotted a container of fake flowers, tulips to be exact, on the vanity (which matched the shower curtain and valance in the bathroom).

"Oh look at those pretty roses!" Kiddo exclaimed to us. "So that's where that smell came from!"

It was hard not to laugh, but Hubby and I managed. We couldn't manage to contain our laughter a bit later however, as we were inquiring of the agent whether we could see the deck and back yard and she was directing us through the garage to the back. She asked us if we had any further questions. We didn't, as we already were pretty sure there was no way we would take this house for near what they were asking but then Kiddo piped up.

"Excuse me, please, I have a question."

The agent smiled at her. Cute kid, shook her hand when we'd first arrived, agent wants to make a good impression on us, no doubt. (I mean, she'd gone to all that trouble to get ready for the open house with her grooming and appearance......)

"Are there any monkeys in the back yard? Like the tiny ones that hide in trees?"

Kiddo was perfectly serious, by the way. She and Hubby had watched one of the eleventy million episodes of Bindi, the Jungle Girl currently hogging our DVR space this morning, and apparently this episode featured some tiny monkey-like animal that made weird, twig nests in trees in which they hide during the day, and of course in Bindi's world, such critters were lurking about the back yard (as is customary in Australia, right Givinya?) so Kiddo was equal parts nervous and excited at the prospect that this potential new house might have such creatures just beyond the deck.

The agent was nonplussed. Hubby and I lost it. The agent tried to answer her with a straight face, but found it impossible. She did assure Kiddo that there were no monkeys of any sort on the property. Kiddo pressed the topic, thinking that perhaps the agent just hadn't seen them, but the agent promised her she'd been in the back yard many times and was positive there were no monkeys of any size to be found, although there were squirrels. Kiddo was unimpressed.

So, that was the first open house. We were surprised at how little the current owners had done in the realm of decluttering, cleaning, freshening up etc. I mean, this house was built in the late 60s and some of the paint and all of the carpeting and the bathrooms looked like the late 60s. But if we thought that house was dated, the next two were positive time warps. It was like being in the Brady Bunch but without the housekeeper or AstroTurf back yard. (Though that might've helped the swampy, boggy mess the one property featured. Holy environmental disaster, Batman!) From excessive wood paneling, especially in the "den" or "family room" areas (and in one home, the only light other than from the gas fireplace in such a wood-paneled cave came from wall sconces. I repeat: Wall. Sconces. Like "Hey, you know what looks cool and modern? Some lighting sconces like you'd see in a medieval castle, only with orange light bulbs!") to shag carpet to a bathroom entirely done in pink tile (with pink toilet, tub/shower and vanity)... it wasn't pretty.

Now, I get that these are all older homes. I get that the split level was popular back then. But.... but..... but....... do you have to keep living like it's 1974? Agents kept telling us "there are hardwoods underneath the carpeting!" Fine, but for the price you're asking, we don't want to have to pay to have carpeting ripped out and floors refinished. Plus, the bedrooms were all pretty dang tiny, the kitchens were abysmally small (they all claimed to be "eat in" but apparently that's only if you can manage to hover standing at some of the nonexistent counter space or over the sink while you dine) and it was just bad. One kitchen was done entirely in grey and Formica. I swear those were the original appliances from when the house was built in 1965 - I muttered to Hubby under my breath "No wonder they want to sell those with the house!" - and the cabinets were these weird, grey things that looked like they'd be much more at home in a middle school science lab.

Just not good. We further ruled out a couple more houses by driving by - one was on a section of road that was much too busy, and the other was waaaay down this road where the neighborhood went from being on the posher side to seeming a bit.....Deliverance-y. Like rusted conversion vans lurking behind falling-off-the-hinges barn doors and boarded over windows and cars up on blocks, with the stray chicken or mangy looking dog running around. I kept expecting to hear the strains of a banjo being picked from up the wooded hill that ran behind the street. (Though it would've been hard to hear anything much over the Heywood Banks greatest hits cassette Kiddo insisted on listening to for the entire trip. Hubby and I love Heywood Banks, really we do, but 3.5 hours of Fly's Eyes, Pancreas, The Cat Got Dead, Toast, Red Ants, The Garden Weasel, If Pigs Had Wings and The Music's Too Loud over and over and OVER again can start to wear on one's sanity.)

So, we returned home to our freshly painted, sparkling clean, utterly decluttered house with a whole new sense of why our agent was so dang excited to get people inside the door to have a look around. If our listing goes up without the words "Move in condition" and "pride of ownership" featured, I'm gonna be on the phone to him right away. Because really? None of the houses we looked at were in anything close to "move in condition" - all of them would need at the least a good cleaning (carpets, walls, kitchen) as well as fresh paint and/or removal of wallpaper... (And we are SO not excited about the thought of picking up a paint roller again any time soon!!!) Kiddo was impressed with the various children's bedrooms, as they featured themes from Diego and friends to Cars and Thomas to Noah's Ark and Puppies Playing Sports. So, it seems she at least will be an easy sell on whatever we buy.

We went back through our list and looked through the listings once again. We've got a total of eight properties now that we've asked our agent to show us this week. He says he wouldn't be surprised if we have five or more showings of our house in the next week and a half, without doing an open house, even. I'm definitely going to keep my eye peeled for drive-by-ers...

Now, the listing goes live tomorrow, but I took some pictures myself so here is a sneak preview of our house, including Kiddo's room (which he didn't photograph because, as he so delicately put it, "It's a bit....busy." Or as Tim Gunn would say, "A lot of look." The agent did ask us where exactly Kiddo sleeps, and was impressed to hear she sleeps under all of her Stuffed Animal Entourage. Didn't bother explaining it is a sensory thing - she likes the weight on top of her. Who needs a weighted blanket when you have over a hundred - not kidding here - stuffed animals to pile on top of you?)


The blog version of a Virtual Tour:

The front entrance (oh, and the verdict is that we've left that Window to Nowhere above the front door bare and are just being careful to keep the bathroom door closed!)



The great room. For the official pics and when being shown, the remotes and Kiddo's beanbag chair will not be in view):






The kitchen, which for the official pictures doesn't have either Crazy Cat or her dishes:



(The daffodils are in homage to my bloggy buddy Jennifer, who is also trying to sell her house, but who employs much greater flower arranging talents in her sale efforts than I ever could dream of doing...)

The laundry room, which will not have Kiddo's coat on the doorknob or my coat on the rack during showings. This one won't make the listing, so it is a Blog Exclusive!:


Downstairs half bath. Yes, I cheated - these are the same pictures I posted a little while back.




The stairs, complete with freshly painted baseboard trim. Hubby had to do lots of taping to get that bit done. Not fun!


Upstairs hallway, another Blog Exclusive:


New shots of the upstairs bathroom, now featuring Official Showing Towels (that do not actually get used!):




Our vanity area (shout out to my mother for the excellent suggestion of sticking the various baskets that usually line the counter underneath our bed. Kiddo finds that hilarious, as well.)


Another Blog exclusive.... the walk-in closet for the master bedroom:


Master bedroom:




Blog Exclusive: Kiddo's room (cameo appearance by Swimmy, the evil, carny goldfish):





And last but not least, the guest room (which is still kind of a "slash office" as well, as evidenced by the computer at which I'm now sitting....)





And there you have it! Please send all your Good House Selling and Buying vibes my way! I've yet to buy a statue of St. Joseph to bury next to the sign, but I'm not beyond considering it. I am a superstitious sort who always picks up heads-up pennies, gets a little freaked if I break a mirror, and always throws a pinch of salt over my shoulder should I spill any. I'm good with black cats crossing my path, though, and I got over the "walking under ladders" thing pretty much for good when we were in the midst of painting and walking under ladders just couldn't be avoided.......

Phriday Photo Phun - Phull of stuph

Yesterday, I made two more trips to our home away from home, or at least, the home away from home for approximately 75% of our belongings. When I was finished jamming Load #2 into the teensy amount of space that was left, I took a picture of the storage unit:



and then promptly emailed it to Hubby at work with the subject header: FULL.

Hubby, being the wisenheimer that he is, replied with this:

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have highlighted several areas for more stuff…

When I read that, I immediately responded, declaring SHENANIGANS upon him. ('Cause that's how we roll in the Smith house: wisenheimery is promptly put in its place with a declaration of shenanigans. Even Kiddo will declare shenanigans upon us and/or have shenanigans declared upon her.)

So Hubby was out in the garage this morning, taking inventory of what last, few things need to go over to our 10x10, maxed out space. Seeing as how he thinks that there are all these spaces where things will fit, he will be the one making the trek over to the storage facility to cram them in tomorrow morning.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, he'll locate my wits when he's over there. Not that retrieving them from storage will free up that much space as I didn't have many to begin with, but I do miss them so...

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